Andyp

death of the town centre

2011-06-09T08:57:00.002+01:00

I was walking through Swindon the other day when I noticed a sign in the window of a printer ink reseller. The sign said "Relocating to Internet" and that got me thinking about people who don't have or don't want Internet access and about the very real danger of their disenfranchisement from society and whether this will have a negative impact on their quality of living and the impact on the general population.

This pattern of thought was driven by the fact that economic reality will force more and more businesses to trade exclusively online as more and more customers demonstrate their preference for shopping online, or simply shop online because there is little alternative.

This will lead to an increase in empty shops in town centres, and elsewhere. The lease owner will still be responsible for Council Tax and Business Rates so will have expenditure but no income which means that the lease owner will let the lease lapse at the end and the business owner, who still has to pay local taxes even though the property is empty, may simply demolish their premises,

This means that the local authorities will see a decline in revenue and so they will have to increase the rent on the properties they own and increase local taxes which may have the knock on effect of pushing more businesses either soley online or in to liquidation.

This would lead to more revenue loss for local authorities which leads to higher taxes and rents, higher prices to the consumer as businesses struggle to meet their running costs which leads to more migration to the Internet or business liquidation which leads to more empty shops which increases the disenfranchisement of those who choose not to use the Internet or simply can't.

2011-06-07T12:46:00.001+01:00

Phew, made it to Bush House, Bristol via Templemeads and Bristol IT. Saw lots of rain thru windows but dodged the drops whilst walking

2011-05-12T11:31:00.000+01:00

Off to The Red Lion in Salisbury later - presenting on Social Media for businesses - http://ping.fm/qAGws if you're looking for something to do

2011-05-11T10:50:00.001+01:00

Just tweaking my presentation for this afternoon's "Wiltshire - Open for Business" event in Devizes http://bit.ly/mrXeqs

2011-05-09T21:38:00.001+01:00

Do you know the World's top 10 brands? Well, have a guess then see ow close you are http://ping.fm/3oJxr

2011-05-02T13:13:00.001+01:00

13 tips on writing better copy http://ping.fm/rEUrM The 14th is to employ a copy writer

2011-04-27T13:36:00.001+01:00

Have a few minutes to spare but left your Rubik's cube at home? Don't worry, you can DL a virtual one http://ping.fm/vOhRc

2011-04-27T10:30:00.001+01:00

RIP Poly Styrene
Isn't it incredible how sad memories trigger happier ones.

When i read about the sad death of Poly Styrene yesterday at the very young age of 53 I remembered that they played in Swindon in 1977 or 1978 at The Affair, a great club that was opposite the Wyvern Theatre and used to book great bands from that era.

Before we ever went to a gig, we always used to stop off at The Rifleman's, a pub just down from the Town Hall. That night, when we popped in for a pre-gig beer, we were surprised to see the whole band also having a pre-gig beer [or 2] including Laura Logic, the band's v under age Sax player.

We asked if we could joint them and had a really nice chat before they had to go and get ready.

As I said, a happy memory that was triggered by a very sad one

Which Company is represented by these reprobates

2010-10-08T22:26:00.003+01:00

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics :-

29 have been accused of spouse abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
9 have been accused of writing bad cheques
17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

So ... Which organisation is this ?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

What an absolute bunch of [insert your desired expletive here!] we have running our country - it just says it all.

To add insult to injury ... it's a known fact that they have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the country!!

Furthermore ... Who ever heard of going further into the red to get out of the red !!!!!

Just because you're paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you!

2010-09-14T23:41:00.007+01:00

There's been a lot of publicity recently about the reduction in fixed speed cameras with a number of local authorities deciding that they can't afford to keep them running.

Strangely enough, I don't have a problem with speed cameras, if I have my picture taken it's because I'm actually doing something wrong.

Now, I know all the arguments, if it were a police person then there may be a little discretion, that they encourage breaking at the approach and could cause accidents and that they are a form of taxation but the reality is simple, if you don't speed – you won't get flashed, and – yes, I have been flashed.

I don't even mind average speed cameras, again the argument is that you focus so much on your speed that you pay less attention to the road. Well, tosh and piffle, if you have to pay that much attention to your speed then you can't be much of a driver; I can judge my speed well enough by the sound from my engine.

What is really getting my goat, though, is the rapid expansion of ANPR cameras, that's Automatic Number Plate Recognition cameras and that's one on the right. These are smart, they can read your number plate and “talk” to the DVLA in Swansea and Big Brother knows where you are, where you have been and where you end up, and Big Brother is above the law.

How so I hear you ask?

Well, if I set up a video camera to provide a view of people who walk up to my house, I have to ensure that it cannot record people passing by on the pavement – the Data Protection Act tells me so. This could pose a problem if there is an attempt to prosecute the lady who recently dropped a cat in a wheelie bin and was caught on camera from one of the houses on the street – it's highly unlikely that this footage would be admissible in a court of law.

If I have a shop and set up a CCTV system, I have to display a sign advising people that they are being recorded and provide information as to who is recording them and how I can contact them.

If I'm responsible for a shopping centre and deploy CCTV to act as a deterrent and record anti-social behaviour, then I also have to post a sign advising people of this fact, just as if I were a shop keeper.

All of this means that you or I know who is recording us and what we can do if we have a complaint.

But ANPR cameras seem to be above this law. Big Brother can put them where he likes and we have no clue who is surveilling us and what they are doing with the data.

For those of you who say that If I've done nothing wrong then I've got nothing to worry about well, I just don't think HMG need to know where I am and where I've been – it's not necessary and really does impinge on my civil liberties and freedom of movement – in my opinion.

I first noticed it last year [or the year before] when 5 cameras were mounted on a bridge over the Westbound M4 just after the Leigh Delamare services, [between J17 and 18 – Chippenham and Bath]

No drama, they were just installed – no notification as to their purpose or to whom they “reported”

My paranoia ratchet up a level when, one day last year, I left the M4 at J17 for Chippenham and parked in the lay-by just off the junction was a plain white transit type van with the same type of rear “window” as those used by mobile speed camera vans – but it was unmarked. Even the cameras used by the Vehicle Licensing Agency to check for un taxed/insured cars are marked with clear vehicle signage and I thought this was just plain wrong. Everyone heading South on the A350 was being surveilled by person or persons unknown. I was tempted to pull over but two things stopped me. It would have made me late for my appointment and also I was just a little intimidated.

Then, this week, I saw installers fitting cameras around Swindon, recording cars arriving and leaving. They are mounted on the traffic lights controlling the junction with the Great Western Hospital and there are 4 camera, 2 for each direction and 1 per lane. These are not CCTV cameras, they are not traffic light cameras, these are ANPR cameras.

Then, earlier this week, I noticed that the Southbound A350 from M4 J17 [Chippenham] had grown a new mast, just before the golf club, with the same type of camera that I saw being mounted on the traffic lights in Swindon.

This is a creeping malaise that is eroding our freedom and I don't know who's putting up the cameras, who is monitoring the activity, who has access to the data and what is their purpose and I'd like answers to all these questions

Live Aid, 25 Years ago this weekend

2010-07-11T13:26:00.003+01:00

25 years ago this weekend the World’s largest music festival, Live Aid, took place.

In 1984 the BBC screened a documentary by Michael Burke that brought home the horror of the famine in Ethiopia.

This documentary inspired Bob Geldoff and Midge Ure to get almost 40 of the UK’s best known pop musicians together to record “Do they know it’s Christmas”, a single that they hoped would raise about £70,000 for the famine relief appeal. The single was released towards the end of 1984, flew to No.1 in the UK and raised over £10m worldwide.

Many other countries picked up on this idea, the most well known being “We are the World”, written by Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones, which involved many internationally famous artists and which has gone on to raise over $63m to date

Inspired by their success, Bob and Midge teamed up with music mogul Harvey Goldsmith to arrange the greatest and largest music festival that the world had ever seen, and the concept for Live Aid was born, a concert that took place on two countries across 2 continents, Wembley Stadium in the UK and the JFK Stadium in Philadelphia, USA.

In front of 72,000 in Wembley Stadium Live Aid kicked off at 12:02 with Status Quo “Rockin all over the World”. Acts as diverse as The Four Tops, Ozzy Osbourne with Black Sabbath and Phil Collins appeared on the revolving stage with the Wembley show ending at around 10pm with a massed choir on stage performing “Feed the World”.

Then, at 22:14, the US concert kicked off and in front of 99,000 people Tom Petty opened with “American girl”. The artists playing in the JFK Stadium included the Thompson Twins, Neil Young and Phil Collins – who had flown across the Atlantic on Concorde. It was not until nearly 4am (UK) that Live Aid came to a finish with “We are the World”.

Live Aid was televised in over 60 countries to an estimated audience of 2Bn – that’s over 1/3^rd of the global population.

At the time I was working for a well known high street electronics retailer and had a wall of TV screens showing the opening acts from London. As soon as we closed the store I dashed home, grabbed some food and a beer and settled down in front of the TV for a marathon session, watching all the way through UK and US broadcasts. After the US finale I was still wide awake and was quite overwhelmed by the event so went for a walk around the village. It was a beautiful summer morning, the sky was cloudless, the air was clear and I could tell who had been watching by the pattern of their lights – downstairs lights being turned off followed upstairs lights being switched on.

Other memories include clips from the documentary that started it all off, accompanied by The Cars playing “Drive” and Bob Geldoff exhorting us to “give us yer f**king money”.

Even today, whenever I hear “Drive”, my mind replays clips from the documentary and all I see are the dying children, so powerful is the link between that track and the video footage.

Live Aid went on to raise over $100m.

Did it make a difference? Of course it made a difference, even if it only served to bring the Ethiopian famine to the attention of the Western World.

Will Live Aid ever be beaten? That’s a really good question.

Isn't the Internet Wonderful

2009-12-06T14:50:00.003Z

How fantastic is the Internet?

Back in the late 70s there was a rumour that the Clash (yes, that Clash) were due to play a gig in Swindon but they burned the venue down and so the gig never took place.

As a punk, I was gutted, one of the greatest bands of the era could have played Swindon - but it remained a myth and probably an urban myth at that.

Anyway, Sunday November 29th saw Alice Cooper play The Oasis, a leisure club that gave Noel Gallagher the inspiration for the name of his band - yes, those well known rockers - The Leisure Centres. The local paper carried the post gig report together with a couple of comments from people who were there, including one Ian Doeser - a "Pub Rock Legend" and local musician of some repute .

I've played with Doeser a number of times in that past and had totally forgotten about him until I read this article so I turned to Mr Google to see what was known.

It transpires that he's just finished recording with his band The Hamsters From Hell* in a local studio (Infernal Machine), has an album on the way (The Wonders of Modern Technology Vol 3 released by 208 Records) and a Christmas Single "Oh no it's Christmas Again"

This lead me to a video clip on the Swindon Viewpoint archive which featured a brief street interview with Ian about the European Elections in 1979. Swindon Viewpoint being one of the very first community radio and TV stations which broadcast on the fairly extensive cable TV network in Swindon.

More Googling turned up the fact that Ian appeared on an album by David Marx, formerly of Swindon and now living in France. The album, "Green Indians" was put together to celebrate the life and work of another local musician, Kevin Wilkinson, (Squeeze, the Waterboys, China Crisis, Fish, The Proclaimers and Howard Jones - to name a few) who took his life in 1999.

I then read a little more on David's site - particularly his musical history. His first band was called "The Aggravators", in which Doeser played bass.

Reading down the page brought me up short. In 1977 The Aggravators were due to play support to Subway Sect who were, in turn, playing support to the Clash. The first two bands were to open at local venue, The Affair whilst The Clash were to play "across the road" at the Central Hall.

However, the Central Hall mysteriously burned down during the day, destroying some of the Clash' equipment and all three bands ended up playing The Affair.

So, it was a myth no more, in 1977 one of the pioneers of punk rock did indeed play Swindon - and I missed it. That was probably the only gig I missed, being a regular at The Affair, a small nigh club with tiny stage but great atmosphere.

If you are interested, you can see pictures of The Aggravators on Bored Teenagers. In the first picture Ian is on the right - with an unusual haircut whilst the second has Ian second from the right.

* The Hamsters from Hell must now be one of the longest running bands in Swindon, this was Ian's band in the 70s too - unless they've reformed, as is the current fashion.

A reflection on our education

2009-11-16T07:49:00.003Z

There have been numerous tales in the media recently relating to the simplification of exams for 14 yr -18 yr olds, one such question that highlights the issue being -

"Name the power source for a solar powered mole scarer"

However, there has also been a viral email doing the rounds which sums things up in a far more cohesive manner.

1. Teaching maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80. How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cuts down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

Now, we all can assume that this is a made up spoof but it does indicate (IMHO anyway) where the public perception lies in relation to exams and dumbing down and we CAN see the effect in every day life. Just look at some of the advertising hoardings (billboards), all pretty pictures, properly spell checked etc- but what are we to make of such platitudes as -

"Sensodyne, No.1 Selling Sensitive Toothpaste"?

I never knew that toothpaste has feelings. I've never given any thought to the process of unscrewing the cap, giving the tube a squeeze - or the pump a pump - screwing the lid back on and putting it back in the cupboard.

Do I need to be more aware of the feelings of the toothpaste as it is dragged, blinking and screaming, from the darkness of the cupboard in to the bright light of the bathroom, as the lid is unceremoniously wrenched from its shoulders, as the tube is given a hefty squeeze, only for the process to be reversed, the lid screwed back on, not caring about any toothpaste that oozes out, and finally to be consigned back to the dark dungeon from whence it came, to be left, all on its lonesome, until the following day.

And to think that this happens with unremitting certainty every day of the week until every last inch has been squeezed out and the used tube is just discarded and thrown in the bin.

How stressful must that be for the toothpaste! Should I be talking to it every time I clean my teeth, be saying soothing words as bright light floods its wooden hovel on the wall and perhaps gently caress its tube whilst I squeeze the toothpaste out?

Should I give the top a loving wipe to make sure that no toothpaste is left out to go dry and crusty and to ensure that the top is gently put in to place and carefully rotated until fully closed whilst I wish it a happy rest on its return to its calm and peaceful living quarters

Nah, I'll just continue thinking that certain members of the advertising profession are numpties.

Halloween

2009-11-07T14:35:00.005Z

So Halloween 2009 is rapidly becoming history and the mad dash to Christmas is upon us. I even saw that Asda Walmart in North Swindon have their Christmas tree up [ALREADY!!]

Anyway, back to Halloween, this time last week , there was a frenzy of activity, pumpkins to be carved, candy to be purchased, costumes checked out and special effects to be organised.

I've been carving two pumpkins a year for a couple of years now, getting more and more ambitious with each passing year. This time, things were a little stripped back, a simple skull and ghost with the greeting carved in to the skull pumpkin [above]

Rachel was going trick or treating as a scary clown, the clown from Stephen King's "It" to be precise whilst Emily was trick or treating as the devil. Mum was on trick or treat duty whilst I was home minding the store. This year though I had rigged a little "surprise".

I downloaded a number of spooky Halloween sound effects from the Internet, ghostly "whoos", screams, spooky greetings, creaking doors, footsteps, heartbeats etc. Then, with a small speaker in the porch and laptop just inside the door I was able to play suitably Halloween music, "Thriller", spooky music TV show and film theme tunes etc and then when trick or treaters reached the door, they were greeted with a spooky sound effect or 2.

However, the number of trick or treaters this year was significantly lower than last year and the amount of candy the girls managed to collect was also way down, perhaps 2009 was the credit crunch Halloween

2009-10-16T14:30:00.001+01:00

Feeling stressed? Need help? Live in the South West? Try Jackie at http://bit.ly/2mDBNW - lots of great advice and help

2009-09-14T12:09:00.001+01:00

Have a look at this really great designer handbag site. All eco-friendly - http://bit.ly/FGQTn

2009-09-07T11:59:00.001+01:00

Want to know all aout art and artisits in Bath? Have a look at http://bit.ly/XRCNs

2009-09-06T00:37:00.001+01:00

Have I bored you about Spotify yet? No? then go look at my blog http://bit.ly/TQ6pv to find out about FREE music [legally free too]

Spotify - all's fair in love and war

2009-09-06T00:10:00.003+01:00

Have I told you how much i am coming to love "Spotify"? Well I am and for those of you yet to discover the delights of almost unlimited music (for free and legally) I'll tell you more.

Spotify is a music streaming service. You download a small application and when run, you can access the Spotify Library, searching by artist, by track, by album.

When you are presented with the search results, there are 3 columns,

Track Title
Artist
Album

Click on any result and you'll be taken to more so click on a Track Title in your search results and Spotify will show you all the tracks of that title that are in the library.

Click on Artist and you'll be accessing all of the tracks from that artist that Spotify has in the library - including their appearances on compilation albums

Click on an Album Title and you'll be taken to the Spotify listing for the complete album.

You can then build your own playlists. Drag an Album Title to the "New Playlist" tag on the LH side et voila - that Album is now one of your playlists. Make your own "Mix Tape" - click on "New Paylist" - give it a title and then simply drag and drop results from your searches.

I've found that Compilation Albums are a great way to find music long forgotten, pop, rock, classical, jazz - - - and so on.

Every time you log on, Spotify give some suggestions relating to new music but also make suggestions relating to music you've listened to, so tonight I was recommended to listed to "The AuPairs", a band that I was listening to in 1979 and had totally forgotten about.

There has to be a downside of course. Well, about every 20 minutes or so your listening is interrupted by a brief advert - unless you sign up for a "Premium" account at £9.99 per month. Gee, I can live with an occasional ad.

What don't I like

That you can't [officially and legally] store the downloads for MP3 plays
That certain bands who really control the use of their music are not on Spotify - hands up Pink Floyd, The Beatles and Led Zep - to name but 3

And that's about it really - Spotify, great for music.

2009-09-04T12:50:00.001+01:00

Looking for really great bespoke furniture? Have a look at this from Jon Newton http://bit.ly/tRGVQ

What's Gordon going to do?

2009-08-29T15:48:00.002+01:00

So, Gordy's been across to Afghanistan to visit the troops in Camp Helmand. [I'm sorry but can they not call it something other than "Camp" - Base for example - Camp Bastion just puts bad thoughts in my mind]

He's promised new kit to help them deal with Improvised Explosive Devices. Hope it's a touch more successful than the Chinooks that are still sitting in an air conditioned hanger in Wiltshire.

In the mid 90's the MoD (Civil Servants who "manage" the UK military - all 100,000 of them [that's civil servants not army - there's about 109,000 in the army]) ordered 8 Chinook Mk3s from Boeing. They were for deployment with the Special Forces [SAS etc]

Anyway, to save costs the MoD decided that it could install it's own avionics software. This software from Boeing would have boosted the cost from £259m to a tad over £300m [remember these figures, I'll be testing you later]

However, we could not write software that worked, which meant the choppers could not be certified as airworthy -they could fly but only when there was not a cloud in the sky and definitely not at low level.

In 2004, as the demand for choppers in Afghanistan rose, the MoD admitted their failure and went back to Boeing to ask them to fix the problem. There were 30 months of negotiations and a final estimate of £215m was reached an in-service date of 2012 was agreed

However, as time passed, the pressure to get them in to service increased significantly and in March 2007 the MoD cancelled the previous project and asked that the Chinooks be "reverted" back from the sophisticated model originally required to the standard "Utility" model. This had a "ready for service" date of 2010 and an estimated cost of £53m. By November 2007 the estimated cost had risen to more than £90m.

All this time, (2001 - 2007) the Chinooks languished in their climate controlled hanger in Wiltshire, needing weekly inspections and a more detailed check every 2 years - costing £560,000

What an almighty cock-up - and still the Civil Servants took their salary and gold plated pension contributions, no one was fired and no one resigned. They did not even get a telling off and a slap on the wrist as far as I am aware.

Where do I apply?

So when Gordy says he's going to improve things, I tend to wonder how he's going to do this - suggestions on the back of a postcard

A Coincidence to far?

2009-08-26T08:55:00.000+01:00

I find it interesting that these new proposals come to light after the Prince of Darkness, King of all he surveys, Mandleson has had a meeting with one of the largest media moguls in the US. A coincidence too far?

Although I do not condone piracy, the media companies only have themselves to blame. They have failed to adapt to the new models of delivery provided by the internet.

Also, this does not take in to account that a lot of the money they claim to be losing is mythical. I would bet that the majority of pirates download music and films that they would never pay to watch – if that’s the case, it’s not really lost revenue. The money was never there in the first case – the sums claimed to be lost are reached by extrapolation not through research in the real world.

Sadly, they want to keep the world locked in their past where they control what we see, what we hear, when we see it, when we hear it, how we see it and how we hear it.

The internet has blown all of that control away and yet the old views persist. Why should I pay nearly the cost of a full blown CD package to download music of inferior sound quality, with no art work, no packaging, no distribution logistics and with at least one link removed in the profit chain (retailer) only to find that the file I download is locked to one delivery device – reducing my freedom to listen to the music wherever I decide – in the car, on the home Hi-Fi, on my PC, on my MP3 player etc.

Why can’t they embrace new delivery media and offer me a choice of quality on a sliding cost scale so audiophile quality would cost the equivalent of a CD (less packaging and distribution costs) all the way down to the type of quality suitable for a mobile phone speaker for peanuts.

On the film front, why can’t I have a selection of download qualities – really low res for my phone, better res for my PMP or iPhone, VHS quality for those of us more interest in content rather than quality, DVD quality and finally Hi-Def.

If media were presented in this way, I’m sure many pirates would migrate.

2009-04-30T09:28:00.001+01:00

Just subscribed to ping.fm so that one update is reflected across all blogs etc. Anyone have any thoughts as to value - good? bad?

The Twitter Top 10

2009-04-19T13:30:00.002+01:00

As with all lists, there has to be the musical "Top 10" - just for fun, where words are replaced in an attempt to make something a little humorous. I haven't spotted a Twitter Top 10 yet so thought I'd create my own. Most of the titles kinda show my age, but that's life! Well, not That's Life - that was a TV show (that also shows my age) hosted by Esther Rantzen, a consumer affairs show - but you know what I mean. If you have suggestions of your own, tweet me at www.twitter.com/andypoulton

OK, Play the Top of the Pops count down tune

10/ Shut up and let me Tweet.

9/ Just can't Tweet enough

8/ Don't Tweet me this way

7/ Tweet you all over

6/ I could be Tweeting

5/Tweets in the Night

4/ Another Tweet on the Wall

3/ Chirpy Chirpy Tweet Tweet

2/ Let's Tweet again

1/ Chiquitweeta

That's all folks.

10 Things that say your a Twitter Addict

2009-04-18T16:39:00.003+01:00

In no particular order

When you're having a conversation on the "real world" and want someone to pay attention to your words, you preface your comments with @their name
When you want to talk one 2 one, you preface your conversation with "DM"
You run each comment that you say through your mind to ensure that it is 140 characters or less
When you mention a web address, you use the tinyurl.com version
www.twitter.com is your browser's home page
You don't talk about friends, you talk about followers
When you meet someone interesting you ask them to follow you with the promise that you'll follow them back
You think that Ashton Kutcher is the president of the USA and that Barrack Obama and Stephen Fry are CFO and CTO respectivly
You have palpitations if no one replies to your tweets
You hear them talking about tweeting on the radio and get all excited - only to feel let down when you realise they are talking about the lesser throated marsh warbler.

Send me your ideas - www.twitter.com/andypoulton

Are the food makers squeezing us during the crunch?

2009-04-14T13:46:00.003+01:00

The last time we had a downturn, a number of food producers looked to maintain (or increase) their profitability. In a buoyant market this is normally achieved by increasing prices. With the focus on prices and the cost of living this would not be a particularly sensible option - attracting negative media attention along the lines of "profiting whilst others suffer"

A number of major producers took a more subtle route - keeping the price same (or even advertising a small decrease) whilst reducing the quantity supplied.

A decrease in size from 440 grams (15.4ozs) to 400 grams (14 ozs) a decrease in size of around 9%. This means that there is a large increase in the profitability per product sold and customers also have to buy more to match their consumption or reduce consumption to match supply. Either way, profits increase.

I think I may have spotted another example of this recently. For convenience, I purchase supermarket medium sliced bread. I can't make any objective comparisons because I don't have any old loaves floating around but I think the bread is being sliced for thicker slices. I've noticed this when toasting the bread. It fills up more of the slot and makes nicer toast. However, it may be just a bit too thick for sandwiches.

From a manufacturing perspective, thicker slices mean fewer slices per loaf which means that although there is not a unit increase in the profitability of the loaf - the loaf is the same overall size - by using the bread at our normal consumption rates we'll go through a loaf quicker and buy more - increased turnover for the retailer and more profit for baker and retailer.

I'll be paying more attention in my future visits to the supermarkets and see whether I can spot any other wheezes.

Big Brother is opening his arms

2009-04-11T15:28:00.004+01:00

Oh boy - is this the end for freedom? Greater Manchester police are deploying mini Google Streetview cars, Smart Cars with CCTV masts on top.

The mast, which extends up to 12ft (3.6mtrs for the metrically minded) will be able to take footage of people doing things at junctions that they should not be - mobile phone usage being the prime aim but people eating at the wheel, lighting a cigarette, tuning the radio.....the list goes on, I wonder if chatting to a passenger is cause for a charge of driving with out due care and attention.

Yes, I know that all of these are distracting, my employer has decided that no mobile phones should be used when driving (even hands free) and I don't have a problem with that but putting out tiny cars with big masts strikes me as going a little to far.

Greater Manchester Police say that it will drive the number of accidents down. I wonder what the cost is, car + mast + camera + personnel (I wonder who will be driving, which of our "police" forces will have this responsibility).

I also wonder what the cost is - will the revenue in fines exceed the cost?

Time will tell but I wonder where this surveillance society will end.

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

2009-04-09T14:29:00.006+01:00

Here's a recipe that I heard on the Chris Evans radio show yesterday. It's for Chocolate Mug Cake.

It's a chocolate cake (no way...) that you make in a mug (gee, I'd never have guessed) that you cook in the microwave (aha something I didn't know)

Ingredients

4 tbs / 50gms self raising flour
4 tbs / 7gms caster sugar
2 tbs / 17gms cocoa powder
1 egg
3 tbs / 43 mls milk
3 tbs / 25 mls sunflower oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small dash of vanilla extract or other flavouring (rum works well so I hear)
1 large coffee mug
Custard - optional for serving

Method

1. Add dry ingredients to the mug, and mix well.

2. Add the egg and mix thoroughly

3. Add the milk and oil - mix well (don't forget the corners / edges of the mug).

4. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again

5. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes (in a 1000 watt microwave).

6. The cake will rise above the top of the mug, but don't worry it’s supposed to!

7. Allow to cool a little, tip out onto a plate.

Eat and enjoy

The UK as a police state

2009-03-14T09:55:00.003Z

For many many months I have become increasingly concerned about the publication of allegedly new pieces of legislation. I use the word allegedly only because they have yet to hit the statute book and I am not sure whether the stories are real of the dreams / nightmares of paranoid and deluded journalists.

However, the most recent story read has driven me to blog.

In the UK we are probably the most watched community in the western world. Our movements can be tracked on a daily basis in any number of ways - some of which may lead to a permanent record, some temporary. Many people would say that if you have nothing to fear then why worry - well I have nothing to fear but it is MY business where I go and what I do and provided there is nothing illegal about it, it is NO BUSINESS of the state.

Then people may say that the surveillance will keep you on the straight and narrow - well the crime stats in the UK indicate that it won't and then there is this presumption of guilt - which goes against the UK legals system of presumed INNOCENCE.

So, where might you be surveilled during the day?

Well there's all the CCTV cameras around, in town and city centres and mounted on poles monitoring road traffic.
Average Speed cameras monitor and record your number plate, London has had number plate recognition cameras for years in the fight against terrorism.
Police cars have Automatic Number Plate Recognition systems.
The police and local councils have "Civil Defence" vehicles, effectively Transit vans with mobile CCTV.
Then there are the speed cameras, both fixed and mobile.
I have seen vehicles which look like mobile speed camera vans but with no markings - this surely is a breach of the Data Protection Act.
The Vehicle Licensing Agency have their own vans with Automatic Numberplate Recognition (ANPR)
On the M4 motorway, heading West after Chippenham there are 5 cameras mounted on one of the bridges - they just appeared, no record of their purpose but they do not simply measure traffic flow, there are too many and they are too focused for that - probably ANPR devices recording YOUR journey along the M4.

Recently I read that plans are afoot to reduce the speed limit on country roads to 50mph so as to reduce road fatalities. Not sure how this would work, if you are hit by a car at 50, you are just as likely to die as you would were it travelling at 60. If you hit a tree at 50 I'd guess the outcome would be the same also. If you collide with an oncoming car the closing speed of 100mph is probably just as fatal as a closing speed of 120mph so the only conclusion that I can draw is that it will become an excuse to site more speed cameras. After all, in a recession, Government income comes under pressure so new revenue streams have to be put in to place.

Next there is a planned change to speed camera signage. It used to be law that all roads that could be monitored by speed camera (either fixed or mobile) had be signed as such - now no such signage is required so speed cameras will be put up without any warning signs.

Now, it could be said that if one sticks to the speed limits, then there should be no problem - but some speed limits - 30 in a non built up area on a straight road for example, can be really difficult to stick to - without starting constantly at the speedo, and that is not where one should be focusing ones attention. Very recently I was in Hampshire, driving down a hill in a 30mph zone with a speed camera looming. I was so focused on my speed that I very nearly missed the van that had stopped just after the camera to turn right!

Now I learn that the UK Government want to record details of everyone who departs the UK by land, sea or air will have their records held on a database for 10 years. I don't trust the Government with databases, they leak to much. This will just clog the system up with so much data that travellers can only expect to endure significantly longer delays at their point of departure.

I'm sorry but this is just too much. The UK Government is looking more and more like a totalitarian Police State. Our freedom of speech has been curtailed and our freedom of movement is being impinged on. as my anger levels increase so does the likelihood that I will do something extreme (well extreme for a middle class conservative anyway). The Convention on Modern Liberty took place recently with many high profile speakers, all of whom are concerned about the erosion of freedom and civil liberties. They have a Twitter feed and a Facebook profile and look to be serious -wonder where they will go? A political party, an action group or shut down by the Government for daring to speak out?

Just to keep us in our places, we now have a diverse range of police type agencies. It used to be just the Police who had these powers and responsibilities but now we have many other Pseudo Police agencies operating in this country and I bet that many people don't know who they are, what they can do or what the extent of their powers are.

Here's are the ones that I can think of "off the top of my head" as it were

Police, Police Community Support Officers, The Vehicle Inspection Agency (VOSA), Highways Agency Traffic Officers, Incident Support Units (whatever they may be), Community Wardens, British Transport Police, Military Police and so the list grows.

It's not that I am against the Police or that I wish for anarchy - far from it - but the growth in control and policing just seems over the top and probably extremely expensive by the time the necessary infrastructure and oversight for each organisation is put in to place - administrative costs that take money away from the point of delivery.

Why not just roll them all back in to the Police Force, one infrastructure will free up millions of pounds to reinforce front line delivery. Ah, but then I guess our munificent Government would see the opportunity to claw back some money are distribute it elsewhere - more expenses Mr MP?

Online sales rip High Street to shreds

2009-01-13T21:17:00.003Z

The figures are gradually emerging for retail performance in Q4 2008 and high street sales figures are a bit of a mixed bag, some stores have generated increases (against the trend), some have suffered small losses but the overall trend of high street sales is down, down, deeper and down and so doom and gloom - gloom and doom is forecast for the economy.

However, this is a little like a soccer player taking their eye off the ball. Retails sales are now just one part of the equation - year on year online sales have shown massive growth IRO 30-50% year on year for the past 5 years and estimated to be 30% for Q4 2008. This has to be migration and cannibalisation from the high street. I know that I don't have any more money to spend, and neither do most of the people I know so (in the main) this is not new business.

No matter who you believe (the British Retail Consortium state just 5% of retail spend is online whilst Interactive Media in Retail Group reckon that is's closer to 15%) there is a vast migration to the online shopping environment and if it is cannibalisation then someone has to get hurt - and it's the high street that suffers.

Or does it. A recent report from Nielsen Online (PDF summary here) shows that with the exception of Amazon (who top their table of the most popular UK online retailers in Q4 with 15.6m visitors +18% on 2007) and Play.com who come in at 4th place with a 35% increase in visitors to 5.7m all of the rest of the top 10 are established high street players - Argos (+32%), Tesco (+15%), M&S (+46%), Littlewoods (+66%), Currys (+35%), Asda (+53%), John Lewis (+31%) and Next (+38%).

This is simply further vindication of the move to an online environment. Why would anyone torture themselves by fighting the traffic, playing "hunt the parking space", digging out the change from your pocket to feed the parking machines (why can't towns be enlightened and provide the option of SMS payment or cash) and then braving the crowds in the high street to trudge from shop to shop comparing prices, checking availability and finally purchasing. Only to have to lug it all the way back to the car and then to start all over.

WHY would anyone put themselves through this torture when you can do it from home (or the office), shopping when YOU want to, not when the stores feel like opening and as a nocturnal web dweller this is a REAL benefit.

You have access to ALL of the stores, not just those that have a presence in your nearest town, you can instantly compare prices and availability. Hunt for discounts and cashback deals, place your order and just sit back and wait for the delivery vans to start turning up.

So, the simple message is - if you can sell your products or services online then you HAVE to. If you fail to realise this, your customer base will be leached away by more enlightened businesses and I can't believe that I am still pushing this same message years after online trading became a viable option for ALL traders.

Things we take for granted - #1. Water

2008-12-06T14:11:00.005Z

Last Wednesday, the last Wednesday in November, the 26th, our water supply failed. Pressure had died away to a mere trickle. I did all the logical stuff, checked the stopcock on the incoming feed - turned it off and the trickle died, turned it back on full and the trickle was restored. Went outside to the water meter / valve. Turned it off and the trickle died, turned it on and the trickle was restored.

I looked at the dial to see whether water was gushing through the meter and out through a hole in the pipe between the meter and the house. This would have been the worst-case scenario. A leak on my side of the meter would have made it my responsibility but there was nothing.

I checked with my neighbour to see whether he had a supply. He ran his tap for me to hear - he still had water so I phoned the 24hour "help" line provided by my water Co., Thames Water.

After navigating through a number of automated menus, i finally made it through to someone. He looked up on the system and said that there had been no other reported issues and so drew the conclusion that the lack of supply was my problem and that I'd have to call a plumber to get it resolved. I was 100% certain that this was not so. However, my argument fell on deaf ears (my argument being that no water was flowing through the meter so the problem must lie upstream).

It was too late to call a plumber so we started to (slowly) fill jugs and saucepans ready for the next day.

Thursday came, a plumber arranged. Due to work volumes, the plumber was not able to make it until towards the end of the business day. He arrived, we talked. He reckoned that it would be a Thames Water issue but proceeded to carry out some basic diagnostics. He dismantled the internal stopcock to check for blockage. He knew it would be clear but needed to prove this so that Thames Water would be convinced that everything had been checked properly.

He went to the water meter and drew the same conclusion as mine earlier - no water was flowing through the meter and so the fault would be upstream of the meter.

He left me with a bill. I called Thames Water. They agreed to get a contractor our within 4 hours. Not bad, I thought. then, an hour later (about 7pm) I had another call from TW. How was the water he asked. Was it enough to get by with until tomorrow? To me, this sounded like someone trying to get out of a night call and defer it until the next day. I told him that the TW help line had advised me that someone would be there within 4 hours of my original call. He then said he'd be there inside 90 minutes.

Fair play, he arrived within an hour with a road crew. They used a power saw to cut through the pavement and a mini digger to start digging down. It's now 8.30ish and they are not quiet.

After about an hour of digging they identified the problem. A piece of packing material that should have been removed prior to the original pipe laying had made its way down the pipe and settled across my spur, cutting the flow. TW were responsible, they will fix and they will meet the cost of the plumber that I had to call.

By now it was late - water supply had been restored and they agreed to come back on Friday to fill in the hole.

Fill in the hole they did but the quality of work is so poor that I think it needs redoing. The pavement was covered in mud - as was the front door and window sills of our house. They left their "Men at Work" signs and the barriers that you can see in the pictures and these were not removed until I emailed Customer Service at TW.

The barriers have now been taken away, the signs have been collected but the pavement is still muddy - less so than it was but this is only after some heavy rain. We should not have been left with a pavement in this condition - it should have been restored to as close tot he condition that it was when originally dug up.

I have notified Customer Service at Thames Water and they responded within their 10 day guidelines - and today (15 December) a far more professional restitution has been made - fair play to Thames Water

However, the experience does make one realise how much we in the west take things for granted and how "big" the problems are when things cease to work as we have come to expect. Does pale in to insignificance though when compared to the current (and ongoing) problems in Zimbabwe

Public Wi-fi - Value add or revenue generator?+

2008-11-24T21:31:00.002Z

Was at a hotel in the Midlands earlier. I won't mention their name because that would be like free marketing for them and I don't really want to do that. However, they are a 4 star hotel located just off the M69 and A5.

Great location, from what I saw of the hotel, it looks OK (in a corporate kind of manner) but, imagine my surprise when I opened my laptop and wanted to access Wi-Fi. £6.99 for an hour something around the £20 mark for an all day connection.

When will a business learn that Wi-Fi is a Value Add NOT a revenue stream. I was hampered by the fact there was no Orange or Vodaphone 3G signal so 3G was out.....so I decided not to go online AND I certainly won't recommend the hotel as a meeting point. Simply extortionate rates.

I now realise that I was less than a mile from a McDonalds and their Wi-Fi is FREE. See, Mikey Ds understands Value Add - coffee for around a pound (and it's pretty good coffee too) and free Wi-Fi compared to coffee at over £2.00 (probably) and no free Wi-Fi.

Heck, a couple of miles further up the road and I'd have found a J.D Wetherspoons pub. Good coffee, soft drinks, reasonable prices and free Wi-Fi. Someone else that understands Value Add rather than Revenue Stream.

Hmmm.....both the latter outlets are aimed at the general public, I suspect that my location was business person focused (read Expense Account).....wonder whether things will change in the credit crunch

The cabbie and the nun

2008-10-28T09:34:00.002Z

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:
'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers,
'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun ki ss me.'

She responds,
'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have
to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says,
'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would
make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess,
I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK.
My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

Is nothing new?

2008-10-07T00:20:00.003+01:00

Was having a random browse around the Internet just now (using Stumble if you must know) and came across a series of vintage ads. Scrolling down I came across a "picturephone" - yes, a telephone with a video screen in......go on, guess...well it was originally launched in 1964 at the New York World Trade Fair but it was a touch unwieldy so they released a more compact version in the early 70s.

And we thought video conferencing was a thing of the mid to late 90s.......just goes to show huh!

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

2008-09-25T20:51:00.001+01:00

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss , press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

CAUTION - Lidl Scam

2008-09-23T01:36:00.000+01:00

This is a warning to men who may be regular Lidl or Aldi customers. Over the last month one of my friends became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get a few odd's and ends has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two very hot 25-26 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy little T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

He had his wallet stolen July 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th. Also August 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 24th, three times last Saturday and it's very likely to happen again this coming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Woolies have wallets on offer for £2.99 each.

All I want for Christmas is...........

2008-09-14T17:12:00.003+01:00

That the merchandising and hooplah starts in November!

Here we are at the beginning of September and already (as of Monday September 8th, our local Asda-Walmart had Halloween paraphernalia and regalia out in full force - well I suppose it is a little under 2 months before this major event!!

However what was worse was that this weekend saw the rolling out of the Christmasware in at least 3 stores that we visited. Boots had Christmas Crackers and Christmas toiletries already on display, our local "Pets at Home" had advent calendars and the Co-op had Christmas sweets, mince pies etc....can you believe it...it gets earlier and earlier each year...it won't be long until the start of Christmas meets itself on the way out from the previous year.

Google Chrome - shiny shiny shiny

2008-09-11T09:38:00.002+01:00

As I use Google Chrome more and more, I discover more and more about it. As an example, I am having to complete a detailed on-line assessment that requires a lot of on-line form filling. Since I am not the worlds most accurate typist I often have to make my entries in Word and copy and paste them in to the form - just to be able to run a spell checker across my work before committing the data to "the powers that be".

this is a pain in the butt and time consuming - no more is it an issue - Google Chrome automatically checks my spelling for me, as I type and errors are underlined in red with options presented on the right-click of my house.

OK, so the dictionary needs a little education - it appears not to recognise Google for example but it's a lot better than nothing at all!

Hooray - - :-)

Txting is "fun"

2008-09-09T20:17:00.002+01:00

You really have to watch this to believe it. This is a guy riding a motorbike whilst texting - and it's nothing like you think it is.......

Google Chrome - is it the Emperors New Clothes?

2008-09-03T10:50:00.003+01:00

So, Google release a new browser called "Chrome" - with all of the competition out there from Mozilla (Firefox), Opera and Microsoft Internet Explorer why should Google release a browser and why should we take any notice?

Well, the answer is more closely related to the way that you use your browser rather than whether you should change for change's sake.

If you simply open your browser and look at web pages sequentially, then there's probably very little benefit in changing - unless you want to have a look at "the new" although pdf documents open significantly faster in Chrome.

Where it comes in to its own is with tabbed browsing. Opening new tabs has been a long term differentiator between Firefox and Opera (both of which have had tabs for a long time) and Internet Explorer - which only gained tabs in its latest update. Tabbed browsing enables you to have multiple web sites (or pages from the same site) open at the same time.

With all other browsers though, a problem with one page in one tab can (and does) freeze the whole browser. Imagine that you have webmail open in one browser and you are half way through composing an email, you have a web based spreadsheet open in another tab and go to a third tab to do a little research for your email. You launch the tab, navigate to the target site and have to wait for Java to load. Your browser is frozen and you wait and wait....until...you realise that the web page you need for research has locked up your browser. No option - crash out of the browser and re-start. You could have lost your email draft AND any unsaved data in your spreadsheet.

This is where Chrome is different. Each browser tab runs like a stand alone program so if a tab has problems, it can be closed WITHOUT AFFECTING the other open tabs!

Chrome has also been designed around web computing - not web browsing so all YouTube aficionados, all of those who use web based applications (Google Docs, Zoho and the like) will all see benefits.

Last but not least of the features that i have found and like is that if you are working on a document and open another tab for research - if you have space on your desktop with a large monitor, a wide screen or you have multiple monitors, you can pull the research tab "away" from your main instance of Chrome and have it open in its new window.

It may just be in "beta" i.e not fully developed, it may not have all of the options available to Firefox (Firefox has thousands of useful ad ons) bit I have to admit that I like Chrome a lot.

And...the way that it works it not too far away from being an operating system in its own right. If you do everything remotely through your web browser (Thin Client Computing - Wikipedia definition) then Chrome may just be the best way to achieve it.

Sick of Corporate Cliches?

2008-07-19T13:32:00.002+01:00

So, let's take this offline, let's look at a new paradigm, i envision us going forwards...do these sound familiar? They're all entrants in BS Bingo - the type of "speak" that consultants may use when they really have nothing to say. Have a look at this from MiniBlackHole - who is a journalist by trade.

miniblackhole's Love Solutions from miniblackhole on Vimeo.

Jumping the Shark

2008-06-30T20:47:00.002+01:00

Well, I think it has happened. After months of expectant waiting, Top Gear - the irreverent TV motoring show hosted by JC (that's Jeremy Clarkson) Richard Hammond and James May has returned to our TVs.

2 episodes in and I am finding that something is missing, not sure what it is, but something is missing. The very un PC attitude is there, the quips are there, the fast cars are there, as is the Stig and "Star in a reasonably priced car" but it feels forced, too scripted, over produced maybe....not sure but it's possible that TG has "Jumped the Shark", it has reached the peak in its popularity and is heading off for a slow decline. Maybe it has - maybe not, only time and the remaining episodes will tell. I'm sad........but that's life

The better phone is here

2008-06-12T20:23:00.003+01:00

I may have commented in the past about how much I came to dislike my "smart" phone. The Sony Ericsson P990i was more of an infuriation than it was smart. Constantly dropping Blue Tooth connections, before calls, during calls, after calls - consistent it was not. The it also has the temerity to crash - around 1 in 20 incoming calls would find be pressing the button to answer, holding the phone to ear to speak - talking to nothing followed by an exasperated look at the phone which had the temerity to advise me that "This phone is restarting to improve your customer experience".

It nearly went out of the window on several occasions - but all that is behind me now, the spawn of Satan Sony phone has passed on.

For the past month I have had the pleasure of using the HTC TyTn II phone. Sadly it's running Windows Mobile, happily this has yet to crash. I thought I'd give it a month before posting, just to make sure that the phone is as good as it seemed when it arrived.

Now, this really IS a smartphone. It has a features list as long as your arm, and all of them seem to work pretty well - so where shall I start.

OK, the screen is 2.8" and very crisp with standard Windows Mobile buttons and a touch screen interface. Then, push the screen back and there is a usable QWERTY keyboard. Tilt the screen up and it looks like a little laptop.

It is 3G and HSDPA (up to 9 times faster than 3G) so it has really quick web connectivity -a boon when using the built in GPS receiver in conjunction with Google Maps (or the inbuilt SatNav). Yes, Wi-Fi is there to although my data bundle from Orange looks to be shouldering the load.

ActiveSync means that it pulls down my emails from our corporate server and keeps my diary up to date whilst pocket versions of Word, Excel and PowerPoint let me read attachments with ease (oh and Adobe too for pdfs)

As an MP3 and video player it works pretty well although the screen is too small for really serious watching.

On the back is a 3Mp camera with digital zoom. OK, it won't set the world alight and it lacks a flash but I knew that before I ordered the phone and I have a decent digital camera anyway. Taking snapshots with the phone is fine, and 3MP will happily print to a 6 x 4 photo in photo quality if I like.

MicroSD cards allow me to up the memory from 128Mb to almost as much as I like although the 2Gb card that came with the phone is probably enough.

Battery life is OK too - surprisingly, although WiFi use does tend to suck the power, but it can be charged in the car, at home and off the laptop so that's not really a worry.

So, how do I feel now the new iPhone has been released - not so bad really. Yes, it too has fast 3G connectivity (at last), yes it looks really cool but look at the price. My HTC cost me nothing in capital and I pay under £30 per month for a bag full of minutes and unlimited (well nearly) web access too.

RIP Sony Ericsson P990i and welcome to the family HTC TyTn II {dumb name tho}

Google CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility)

2008-05-15T20:50:00.002+01:00

Well, I was going to blog about my new phone - the one that replaces the spawn of the devil that was my Sony Ericsson P990i - however I followed a link from Google the other day and learned something new about our favourite search engine.

Their response to the Burmese tragedy was to post a link on their search page offering to donate up to $1m. The way this worked was that you clicked on the link and you were taken to a page where you could donate online to two of the charities working hard to alleviate the suffering of the Burmese people affected - UNICEF and Direct Relief International. Google would then match the donation $ for $.

From here, I discovered a Google domain previously unknown to me, www.google.org

Here, Google explains how they they want to harness the "power of information and technology to address the global challenges of our age".

They talk about the generation of renewable energy (developed to be cheaper than coal) and on a realistic scale. To back this up, Google have a fleet of plug-in vehicles to test under real-world conditions charged by their installation of the largest solar panel installation on a corporate estate. 9,212 panels generate 1,600 kilowatts of power - this would translate in to sufficient power for 1000 Californian homes.

They are involved with the commercialisation of Plug-In vehicles (OK, so we need the first one before this so that the power used is non-polluting) as well as using information to empower communities, policy makers and you and I to improve public services as well as helping to increase the flow of capital to Small and Medium Sized enterprises in the developing world.

Anyway, it transpires that when Larry Page and Sergey Brin wrote to their shareholders in 2004 about their vision for the company they outlined their commitment for Google to contribute 1% of their equity and profits (together with employee time) to help address "some of the world's most urgent problems".

To May 2008 Google has committed over $85m in grants and investments - not bad going.

As I said, you can find all this and more at www.google.org - have a look and learn a little more about our favourite Internet giant.

The charge of the light bulb brigade

2008-03-11T22:56:00.003Z

Do you know how much I have come to loath the humble light bulb?

Once upon a time, it was really simple. A bulb blew and all you had to do was to decide how bright you wanted the replacement to be - how simple is that. Oh you could choose from "pearl" - those bulbs with the frosted glass that gave a softer light, or "clear" for a brighter, harsher light. Then you could choose a colour if you wanted to - I used to use those red bulbs for electric fires when I was a teenager - living in my own red-light zone, my bedroom used to look like a brothel - not that I realised when I was 13, it was just different and cool.

Now, if a bulb blows, one needs a university degree to ascertain the fitting type, fitting type, bulb type, the application that it is used for, how much one wants to spend, how green one wants to be etc....

We have moved on from the simple bayonet fitting that worked so well for so many years, now we have screw threaded bulbs - with different sizes of screw threads. Sometimes they work loose and stop working - all that is needed is a simple screwing back in but it's all too easy just to assume that they have died and have to be replaced.

Then you have the choice between incandescent bulbs and the newer low energy fluorescent bulbs. These are far more efficient, they sip electricity compared to an incandescent (which positively gulp their power down). The typical 60 watt incandescent being replaced by a 9 or 11 watt fluorescent - using something like 1/6th of the energy and lasting a squillion times longer (or so they say)

Of course, it's never quite that simple. The cheaper fluorescents take a little time to develop their full brightness -coming on candle like and allowing full brightness to develop over time. These cheaper ones can also have a greenish (how appropriate) colour cast - not normally noticed by the human eye such is its adaptability.

The more expensive ones come to full brightness a lot quicker (although neither are happy when used with a dimmer switch) and tend not to suffer from such a colour cast.

However, cheap or expensive, all fluorescents contain mercury - which is incredibly toxic. So, when they fail they have to be disposed of in an environmentally friendly manner - you can't just throw them in your bin, the recycling police will refuse to take your waste away and will call down such an infestation of pox that you'll wish you have never discovered the joys of the electric light and stayed with candles.

And woe betide you if one breaks. You have to call a full decontamination squad who will arrive in their chemical warfare suits and breath through filters that make them all sound like Darth Vader. You'll be treated as a pariah for polluting the community, pilloried by your neighbours and eventually be forced to move out of the neighbourhood - all because you broke a low energy fluorescent bulb - probably out of frustration because you threw it to the floor having failed to get the right brightness / fitting combination.

Then there's the bulbs for the kitchen appliances, the oven, the microwave, the cooker hood / extractor - even the vacuum cleaner.

Then there's halogen bulbs for those dinky little ceiling lights (not very environmentally friendly at all), I've just seen a halogen lower energy bulb in a "standard" enclosure. This was designed to replace "normal" bulbs (if such a thing exists), give out more light than the older incandescent bulbs so use less energy (although not as little energy as the fluorescent bulbs) and are priced between an incandescent and a fluorescent energy saver.

It does not matter how much you spend and how many spare bulbs you have, you will never have the right one to replace the one that's just blown and thrown the loo in to darkness just when you really cannot wait any longer......

The IP Police come a calling

2008-02-23T12:39:00.004Z

So, in all their might, the various agencies with "responsibility" for pirating are once again using their telescope the wrong way around.

Having tried to take out the file sharing sites and the torrent directories in order to prevent people downloading pirated music and video files, they turn their focus to the Internet service providers, those that deliver our broadband to our RJ45s

This is like trying to make the companies that build the roads to be responsible for speeders, or like making transport companies responsible for alcoholics and binge drinkers. The gun is pointing at the wrong target.

If the laws get passed, it will become your broadband provider's responsibility to police the data that you download. Woe betide if you are caught downloading a torrent stream. You will instantly be guilty of piracy and will be the recipient of a "cease and desist" note from your service provider. Get caught a second time and the message will be stronger. Get caught a third time and your connection will be terminated.

Of course, there are a couple of problems with this approach

1/ Some torrent traffic is legitimate. It is a legitimate distribution route for some software applications, the download model of the BBC's iPlayer uses torrents to share legitimate material and, more telling, the pirates are already one step ahead of the game. They now use encryption to mask the type of data streaming across the Internet and so become undetectable (again)

2/ What happens if a broadband provider is not based in the UK? A number of companies have moved their HQs out of the UK to benefit from slightly advantageous VAT rates. These companies will be outside of UK law and if outside of the EU, then outside of EU law as well - Switzerland springs to mind here.

Why do the media creators not just admit that the golden age of making money hand over fist is over and look to re-invent themselves in a more 21st century manner.

With bands like Radiohead making their latest album available effectively for free, some of the artists are already embracing the model. Thousands of new acts are springing up and using MySpace and YouTube as their route to market - cutting out the major producers at source.

They may not generate the vast up-front signing-on offers (which are only advances after all, and have to be paid back out of the profits from sale of CDs) but they build incredibly loyal fanbases who DO pay for downloads and who WILL pay to go and see the artists perform live and WILL buy T-Shirts and other ephemeral memorabilia.

So, with this in mind, why don't the studios embrace all the BENEFITS offered by new media - -the potential access to a vast new market . . . for example, touring China or selling CDs. and DVDs in China may be difficult - providing content via the web is not much easier but it is more achievable.

And why don't they make the content available for free - at a low quality, (VHS or audiotape quality) for example.

That way, the cheapskates who would NEVER pay to view or listen could actually access the material, others could sample the quality of performance and if they then wanted a higher quality then they could buy the higher quality version - with various qualities on offer

MP3 player quality or audiophile quality for the aficionados (who will pay)
TV quality and Hi-Def quality for the real fans - who will also pay.

As far as I am ware, this has never been put forward as an option worthy of consideration. Therefore I consider this to be the AP New Media Business Model and claim it as my own.

What's all the hot air about?

2008-01-20T23:23:00.000Z

So, Steve Jobs announced the new MacBook Air last week, and what a stunning looking beauty it is. Claiming to be the worlds thinnest notebook, running the best operating system {maybe} and the most stylish {almost certainly}. Set up correctly it will run Microsoft Windoze (if you really must) as well as the latest version of Apple's operating system, ummm.....gazelle, giraffe...oh....nope, it's Leopard

However, it may also be the least useful laptop around. I've recently moved to a Sony Vaio, a VGN-SZ61WN - not quite as "sexy" sounding as MacBook "Air" although Sony do brand it with the "everywair" tag and that does describe it, although I don't know whether this tag was added after the MacLaunch or before......anyway, it's not a Mac, has a horrible model number and so there's already an image problem to overcome. However, let's see how things stack up.

Size
Apple quote the Air as being 0.76inches thick (at it's thickest) and in the new money, that's 1.93cms. The Sony is 3.3cms - so round 1 to the Mac.

Apple say the Air is 12.8 inches wide and 8.95 deep (that's 32.51 x 22.73 centimetres) whilst the Vaio is 31.5 cms x 23.43.

Hmmm, that's pretty close, the Vaio being a little shorter but slightly deeper so let's see which one takes up the most desktop real-estate.

So, the Sony requires 738.95 cm2 whilst the Vaio requires 738.05. So close, the margin is so small that it would be churlish to declare a victory for the Vaio so let's call this one a draw.

Weight
Sony say the Air weighs in at "about 3lbs which is around 1.36 kg whilst the Sony is 1.79kg, that's 400 grams heavier, or around 0.9lbs. That one goes to the Mac.....

.....or does it.

See, the Vaio has an inbuilt optical drive that reads and writes both CDs and DVDs, the Mac has no optical drive built in, does not come supplied with an external one either but an external one can be purchased for $99. Hmmmm......OK and Apple say that you can install apiece of software called "Remote Disk" that will allow you to use an optical drive of another Mac or PC - well that's OK then, at least I can install my applications. Oh - yes, if you want to do this on a Windows machine - well drive sharing is included in the operating system! (Damn, I never thought I'd praise Windows)

So how will "Remote Disk" work? Well, the MacAir does not have a network port (in fact it does not have many ports at all) so you'd have to use the integrated wireless networking. Not sure I'd want to use Wireless to install an application suite...oh well.

Oh, the Sony, yes it has wireless networking built in but also has a Gigabit Ethernet port included as well.

Networking and Connectivity
Oh, and while we are on networking, the Vaio also sports an inbuilt HSDPA. (That's 3G broadband to 3.6Mbps over the mobile phone network - depending on what's available in your area). So, wherever I am in the UK, I can access my office remotely, emails, Internet etc etc - truly "Martini" computing. (Any time any place anywhere)

Oh and they both have Bluetooth.

I think, for networking, the Vaio wins, hands down!

The Vaio also has a "proper" video port for the connection of a second screen (and supports extended Desktop on that screen) or for using a Projector. The Vaio also has 2 (yes 2) graphics cards, an integrated Intel device that's low on poer consumption and just fine for business computing and a higher power NVidia 8400 for some gaming.

Yes, I think the Vaio wins on the graphics front - - - oh, the screens.....

Vaio offers a 13.3" screen with 1280 x 800 resolution - and so does the Mac.

Let's continue on connectivity, remember the MacAir has...ummm.....
1x USB2
1x Micro DVI (for video out)
1x Headphone socket
I would presume that the MacAir has an integrated microphone to work with the iSight webcam

The Vaio has....

2 x USB
1 x Video Out
1 x Headphone socket
1 x Microphone Socket (with an inbuilt mic to work with the integrated "MotionEye web cam)
1 x PCMCIA slot
1 x Modem socket
1 x Ethernet Socket
1 x Docking Station port
1 x Memory Stick slot
1 X MultiCard reader (MMC, SD card, XD card compatible)
1 x Express Card Slot

Hmmm.....a connectivity win for the Vaio

The MacAir comes with an 80Gb hard drive, respectable enough......the SOny ships with a 160Gb device - another sount thrashing for the MacAir.

Now, what makes these babies fly???

Well they both come with 2Gb RAM DDR2 667Mhz - so we can declare that a draw.

They both have Intel CPUs, the MacAir having a custom designed Intel Core Duo device running at 1.6Ghz with a 1.8Ghz option.

The Sony Vaio wins again with an Intel Core Duo CPU running at 2.2Ghz. (They both have 4Gb cache)

They both claim to have a battery life in excess of 5 hours. As with most claims, I think this should be taken with a pinch of salt, don't know the real world figures, but I have got around 4 hours out of the Vaio which isn't to shabby.

Oh, and the MacAir has an oversize multi-touch track pad so it works a little like the screen on the iPhone.

The Winning Post
So, let's see - the MacAir is a little lighter and looks slinkier (as all Macs do) but I think my Vaio looks just fine in black. However, it may be lighter but lacks an optical drive. The external drive does not have to weigh too much to make the combination heavier than the Vaio.

After that, things are either a tie (memory, webcam, battery life, WiFi and Bluetooth) or an outright victory (hard drive size, integrated optical drive, memory card readers, expansion slots, integrated Ethernet, analogue modem, HSDPA) so I think this is a comfortable win for the Vaio.

Sadly, it all comes tumbling down when you realise that the Vaio is crippled by Vista. It's adequate but feels no faster than the Dell it replaces which was a single core 1.6Ghz mobile Intel part. OK, I have yet to really push the Sony but it just does not feel any faster - maybe I should install XP, bet it would really fly then.

It's Christmas Day, all is secure!

2007-11-20T20:30:00.000Z

'twas the night before christmas

he lived all alone

in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone

I had come down the chimney with presents to give

and to see just who in this home did live

I looked all about a strange sight i did see

no tinsel no presents not even a tree

no stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand

on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands

with medals and badges awards of all kinds

a sober thought came through my mind

for this house was different it was dark and dreary

i found the home of a soldier once i could see clearly

the soldier lay sleeping silent alone

curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home

the face was so gentle the room in such disorder

not how i pictured a lone british soldier

was this the hero of whom i'd just read

curled up on a poncho the floor for a bed

i realised the families that i saw this night

owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight

soon round the world the children would play

and grownups would celebrate a bright christmas day

they all enjoy freedom each month of the year

because of the soldiers like the one lying here

i couldn't help wonder how many alone

on a cold christmas eve in a land far from home

the very though brought a tear to my eye

i dropped to my knees and started to cry

the soldier awakened and i heard a rough voice

'santa don't cry this life is my choice

i fight for freedom i don't ask for more

my life is my god, my country. my corps'

the soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep

i couldn't control it i continued to weep

i kept watch for hours so silent and still

and we both sat and shivered from the cold nights chill

i didn't want to leave on that cold dark night this guardian of honour so willing to fight

then the soldier rolled over with a voice soft and pure

whispered 'carry on santa its christmas day all is secure'

one look at my watch and i knew he was right

'merry christmas my friend and to all a good night'

This poem was written by a peace keeping soldier stationed overseas.
Let's remember those of all nations who will be away from their families and loved ones this year
Doing their job so that others may enjoy their lives in relative peace and security

'Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.' - Norm Papernick

Broadband Woes - contined

2007-10-11T11:12:00.001+01:00

This is the press release that i sent out last week in the hope that it may attract some media attention. It has, a national TV network consumer affiars show has made contact although i don't want to announce who it is at this point in time whilst investigations in to the matter continue.

BT Incompetence means Swindon based IT Consultant is 4 weeks without broadband

Andy Poulton, an IT Consultant in Wiltshire, lives in North Swindon and has long been frustrated by the slow speed of the broadband service that he is able to access – this is due to the fact that although he lives just 1.2km from the telephone exchange in Blunsdon, planning decisions mean that he is right on the limit of line length for service delivery, some 7.2km of cable lie between his house and the exchange.

On Monday September 17th Mr Poulton’s broadband connection failed.

Between September 17th and October 8th, BT claim to have fixed the fault no less than 8 times and yet Andy says the service is still unavailable.

Only once (right at the beginning of this saga) has a BT Openreach engineer visited Mr Poulton’s house (after carrying out work at the exchange) to verify that the service was still faulty. An administrative error somewhere in BT Openreach meant that the job was closed and so the engineer was unable to pursue the matter further and make good the repair.

Andy believes that it will require a visit to his house to properly address the issue and to prove that service has been restored to his satisfaction – a step that BT Openreach seem unwilling to take, even when they agree that a house visit is necessary.

This is despite BT Openreach calling Mr Poulton on the morning of Day 16, Wednesday October 3rd and explicitly stating that they would like to send an engineer to his house that afternoon to check the connection to the property.

Mr Poulton went to some length to re-arrange his diary, re-arranging several pre-existing appointments and made sure he was home by 1pm, the earliest that BT said an engineer would call.

BT Openreach did not visit the house, wasting one whole afternoon of Mr Poulton’s time. Instead, the Openreach engineer went to the Blunsdon telephone exchange and claims to have carried out a repair to some “jumpers”, signed the job off as completed and advised Mr Poulton’s Internet Service Provider that service had been restored.

Sadly, like the previous 4 BT Openreach interventions and the 3 subsequent interventions where BT Openreach claimed to have resolved the problem Mr Poulton’s broadband was still unserviceable.

Despite emails to CEOs of BT, BT Openreach, BT Wholesale and his Internet Service Provider, Mr Poulton has yet to be contacted by anyone in these organisations who may be able to resolve this issue to Mr Poulton’s satisfaction, once and for all.

In a recent interview Andy said “I cannot believe the level of apparent incompetence demonstrated by BT Openreach. I live less than 15 minutes from the exchange, all it would take is a simple visit to my house to confirm that they have failed to restore the service and yet no-one within Openreach seems prepared to take this action. They are either not prepared to offer an acceptable level of customer service and appear incompetent, economical with the truth or are deliberately acting in an anti-competitive manner to prevent my Internet Service Provider delivering an internet service to my home”

Notes
Andy Poulton has worked in IT for over 11 years, first in network design and implementation and customer support roles for many national companies and latterly as an IT adviser for Wiltshire based businesses, helping them identify and resolve their IT and web site issues and assisting them with their plans for growth and expansion

More information, including a complete diary from Andy’s perspective is available , just post a comment to this blog indicating that you like to know more.

BT and Tesco fail to deliver the goods

2007-10-11T11:12:00.000+01:00

Well....it is now 24 days that I have been without a home broadband service and so in the past week I have started to circulate letters of complaint.

This is the diary so far -

Day 0 Saturday / Sunday September 15/16
Broadband service to 01793 700480 becomes increasingly unreliable, dropping out frequently during this time.

Day 1 Monday September 17th
Service unavailable all day

Day 2 Tuesday September 18th
Service call logged with Tesco premium rate number.
I had already carried out as many tests as possible – connection attempted with 2 x devices (router and Speedtouch ADSL modem), multiple computers, a variety of ADSL filters and two leads known to be good - all via BT master socket.

These steps were duplicated whilst on the telephone to the premium rate number and it was agreed that the broadband provision was faulty.

The next step was for my call to be escalated. No Level 2 tech was available and so an appointment for a call back had to be made.

Earliest mutually convenient time was Thursday September 20th in the evening.

Day 4 Thursday September 20th – Evening
Support Technician called back as arranged. Discussed diagnostic process undertaken - agreement that broadband provision was faulty and agreed to escalate to BT for remedial action

From your records, BT claim to have subsequently conducted a line test and claimed that everything was OK.

Day 9 Tuesday September 25th
Called Tesco to advise that the problem had not been rectified

Escalated to next level of support

Day 10 Wednesday September 26th.
Contacted by a call centre and appointment with BT engineer was booked for the afternoon of Friday September 28th.

Day 11 Thursday September 27th
Contacted clients with whom I had meetings scheduled on the 28th to rearrange. Level of inconvenience caused by broadband outage expands beyond household.

Day 12 Friday September 28th
Early afternoon - BT engineer called, as agreed, and started making investigations at Blunsdon exchange. He telephoned again a short while later to provide update (he had identified a fault at the exchange and was in the process of rectifying – BT engineer action – “lift and shift”).

Engineer called back to advise that he had completed this action and that the problem should have been resolved. I told him that I still had no service.

Engineer visited property, accessed telephone line junction box outside of property and confirmed that there still was no broadband service.

Engineer returned to Blunsdon exchange and diagnosed that “lift and shift” had failed, that another piece of hardware was faulty and that he would take the appropriate steps to arrange another “lift and shift”.

Because it was now late in the afternoon, I was advised that it was unlikely that he would receive the appropriate authorisation until Saturday but, since his shift included Saturday, he would be able to continue

Day 13 Saturday September 29th
Message from BT engineer advising that job had been inadvertently marked as “Complete” by BT and that Tesco would have to re-open the job.

At this point I was still happy with BT because this engineer had provided an excellent level of communication whilst attending to the issue.Day 14 Monday October 1st c 13:00
Having heard nothing further I once again called your Tesco service desk in an attempt to find out whether any further progress had been made.

Was informed that the system had been updated by BT at around 11:00 that morning claiming that BT would provide a further update in a couple of hours

Day 14 Monday October 1st c18:30
Contacted Tesco again - and was again told the same – that BT had updated the system at around 11am and would provide more information in a couple of hours.

I made the point that this was exactly the same message as at 13:00 and more than a couple of hours had passed. Subsequently requested that someone call me on my mobile on Tuesday 2nd to advise me of any progress

Day 15 Tuesday October 2nd 11:08
Message left on landline number (no one available to take call which is why I requested contact to my mobile) advising me that broadband service had been restored.

Wife picked up message at around 2pm and tried to log on – to no effect.

Wife contacted me and as soon as I was able, I took more time off from work to come home. Carried out diagnostics (as per Tuesday September 18th) and confirmed that broadband service still not working.

Called Tesco to advise

Day 16 Wednesday October 3rd 08:29
Call from BT Openreach looking to make appointment. Openreach had identified a line fault and wanted to book an appointment to visit property to examination external cable junction box. (Funny – according to BT there the service was fine at 11:08 Tuesday October 2nd – where has this line fault appeared from – did it exist on Tuesday, in which case BT is providing inaccurate information to Tesco and are failing to properly complete a repair – so they are inept – or BT are deliberately acting in an anti-competitive manner, denying Tesco customer access to internet via BT equipment.) Supposition – BT may like client to give up on Tesco and migrate to alternative supplier…BT perhaps?

Agreed appointment for Wednesday October 3rd between 13:00 and 18:00

Re-arranged PM diary (again calling clients, apologising and moving appointments – inconveniencing clients, adding to logjam of work building up as a result of previous time off and time taken to make extensive calls to Tesco). 2nd time that inconvenience had been visited on people not directly affected by BT failure to resolve fault.

Day 16 Wednesday October 3rd 18:00
No engineer visit, no communication to advise as to reason for failure to make visit.

Consequence – afternoon wasted. Potential revenue lost.

Day 16 Wednesday October 3rd c 20:20
Called Tesco Internet to advise of engineer no-show and request update to mobile as soon as possible

Day 17 Thursday October 4th 13:45
No call from Tesco to either landline or mobile. Called Tesco at first possible time (13:45)

Was advised that BT engineer had visited exchange and had rectified problem with “jumpers”. Engineer claimed that broadband provision restored.

Tesco, noting that no attempt had been made to access Tesco broadband on account presumed that fault had not been rectified and so put in another request to BT to investigate.

Day 17 Thursday October 4th 15:28
Call to Tesco enquiring as to status. Advised that job is now open with BT (again) and that I should await a call back to book an appointment.

Day 18 Friday October 5th 12:15
Nothing heard from Tesco so I called in at earliest opportunity. Was advised that I would be called back “shortly”

15:30 called again since “shortly” had come and gone. Was promised a prompt call back

16:45 called again – my definition of “shortly” and “prompt” obviously differs from the Tesco dictionary definition. Finally spoke with someone other than a member of the first level response team. Was advised that BT had updated the job status and closed the job, implying that the fault had been resolved. I was sceptical. It was agreed that Tesco would call me after 19:30 to run some diagnostics.

17:45 – arrived home, checked router – no broadband service. Just to be sure, connected Speedtouch modem to BT master socket – no broadband service

19:30 call from Tesco – missed by self
20:00 call from Simon at Tesco. Advised that broadband service still U/S. Was advised that BT reported they moved telephone line to a different line card.

Simon offered to take matter up with team leader and also to try to contact Openreach on Saturday and to call me around lunchtime to update – even if the update is just that he has been unable to make progress

Day 19 Saturday October 6th 13:12
Message left by Simon, no update – will have to wait until Monday for more news

Day 20 Sunday October 7th
Nothing new

Day 21 Monday October 8th 12:16
Having heard nothing from Tesco, I called – phone rang, was answered but kicked straight to music. Hung up and redialled. (46 seconds)

This time, phone was answered – asked for update. Placed on hold for 11 minutes. Since I have an MP3 player to play music, I gave up listening to the music-on-hold and hung up.

17:06 – called again. Again given music to listen to – some of which was badly distorted. After another 12 minutes on hold, was advised that the tech guys had been trying to call BT all day but hadn’t been able to get through.

17:26 – Simon called back. He had BT on the phone and they wanted to book an appointment to come to the house. Agreed to a visit Tuesday 9th, AM so spent the next 5 minutes making outbound calls to re-arrange diary.

Day 22 Tuesday October 9th (week 4)
No reply to any of the emails circulated to the address list provided below.

09:50 BT Openreach engineer calls to advise that he will be at the house in around 10 minutes

10:03 BT Openreach engineer arrives, plugs laptop and ADSL modem in to BT Master socket – no service.

Removes master socket from the wall and bares 2 incoming wires which he connects to his own phone socket. Connects laptop and ADSL modem – no service

Replaces Master Socket and leaves to visit street cabinet, promising to return.

11:30 BT Openreach engineer calls. He has been to the street cabinet and carried out a variety of checks. This has indicated to him that the fault lies back at the exchange – there is no broadband service on 01793 700480 between the exchange and the street cabinet.

He advises me that this job now has to be passed to another engineer – he does not know their workload and is not able to give an estimated time/date when work will re-commence.

How frustrating – if the original site visit had been allowed to continue on Friday 28th September / Saturday 29th September, this problem would have been resolved by now.

16:55 Call from Samuel, Tesco Broadband. Introduced himself as a member of the customer care team who would be taking responsibility for managing the problem and that he would carry out some investigations and call back.

Samuel called back and left a message due to my being in an evening meeting. There was no real news – just that the Openreach engineer had closed the job because he felt the fault was at the exchange and a different engineer had to take over.

Day 23 Wednesday October 10th
12:15 Call from “David” and Tesco to update me o the situation. Actually, there was no real update just that David was going to call BT in an attempt to get things moving.

17:20 David called back. He had been on the telephone to BT and learned that the engineer had been in to the exchange and carried out some work. This had failed to resolve the problem. It was felt that a “cease and restore” was required and that this was in the process of being booked. David advised that he would be back in touch on Thursday with a further update.

Based on the fact that BT have already tried a number of “fixes” I have no faith in this next proposed course of action and will continue to have 0 faith until BT propose a solution, implement a solution and visit my home to demonstrate that a working solution has been implemented.

Day 24 Thursday October 11th11:00
No update from Tesco

Can you say "frustrated". I'd have more success if I tried to headbut my way in to the Bank of England. At least someone would pay attention - even if it was only the police to drag me away or the hospital to mend my broken head.

Watch this space

E-Commerce goes thru the roofand small businesses miss the baot.

2007-09-07T23:43:00.000+01:00

I'm writing this as I wait for Windows to sort itself out. 17 months after my PC died and was reborn with new motherboard, processor and memory the original boot drive has gone to that place where all drives eventually go, hard drive heaven.

Whilst I try to get Windoze to install on a different drive, let me share some wowtastic ecommerce factoids relating to July 2007.

The 10 week run up to Christmas 2006 saw £7.7bn spent online. This was a 54% increase on the previous Christmas and in December the £1bn / week figure was smashed for the first time. For the whole year, £30.2bn was transacted online.

Now, in July 2007, £4.2bn was transacted online, a massive 80% increase on July 2006. Now, seeing phenomenal growth in online sales is nothing new, as seen in the Christmas illustration above. What is interesting is the comparison between this online growth and the growth figure for High St sales. For July 2007, High St sales grew just 3.3%

This demonstrates the importance and impact that on line retailing is having.

However, a survey last year by the Federation for Small Business (FSB) indicated that just 18% of SMEs (Small to Medium Sized Enterprises) were actually trading online.

To me, this just shouts "missed opportunity". All of those businesses not actively trading on line have to be loosing business to their competitors - they must be and yet they still continue to carry on as before. What they may not realise is that by doing nothing, they are not standing still - they are moving backwards and they should jump on the wave and join the ride or face hardship.

Now I know we have all heard the doom-sayers before, 7-8 years before, telling companies to get on line or die........however I think this statement is truer today than it was then and the statistics back it up too.

Not only that but 1m more users joined the information super highway in the UK in 2006, with over 31m of a population of 60m having web access, 84% of those getting online with a broadband connection.

So, the numbers of Internet users continues to climb, online transactions enjoy stellar rates of growth and yet 82% of SMEs don't think this is for them.

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.

Even putting together an online store is not overly expensive these days - and anyway - what is the cost if an online store is not launched?

Cars, cars and more cars -but preferably black, red or silver

2007-09-07T13:15:00.000+01:00

OK, so I need to own up, not only am i a self confessed geek but I'm also a bit of a petrol-head as well and over the past couple of months I have been lucky enough to see some really rare cars.

It's not every day that I see an Aston Martin but compared to the following cars, Astons are as common as.......I have seen 4 cars in the past few weeks that are rarer than hens teeth - the types of car that one may only ever see once or twice on the road in a lifetime of driving, cars that are masters of the art of vehicle design.....that have (at some point in their history) redefined a genre. So, enough of the blabbing and on to the steel (or thermo-plastic or carbon fibre).

The first of these cars that I saw was dubbed "Il Mostro" by the Italian press, "The Monster" and surprisingly enough it was not a Ferrari or a Lamborghini but an Alfa Romeo. Now, Alfa's are nice enough (the latest ones are really good looking cars in the right colour) but Il Mostro was something different.

In the late 80's Alfa were struggling with their identity and so asked 3 design houses to come up with a Concept Car. The monster was born - although officially it was the Alfa Romeo SZ or "Sprint Zagato Experimental Sportscar 3.0 litre" to give it its full title.

Only 1,036 were ever made and by today's standards of 500-600HP motors the 210 HP 3ltr engine seems pretty tame. However, back in the 80s this was "good stuff" and when mated to a lightweight body, the performance was pretty good. (152MPH top speed 0-62mph in around 6 seconds).

And then there were the looks - only available in "Rosso Alfa", Alfa Red, the car looks stunning and purposeful. Saw this car on a family trip whilst driving around South Wilts / North Somerset.

Next is a supercar Tour-du-Force. When Mercedes wanted to design and build the ultimate Mercedes, they turned to UK company, McLaren for help. Already Partners in the McLaren Mercedes Formula 1 team, the request was a natural one, particularly in light of McLaren's record in the SuperCar business - having already designed and built McLaren F1 supercar, one time holder of the record for being the fastest production car.

And so the Mercedes Benz SLR McClaren was born.

Combining Mercedes Benz style and quality with McLarens proven SuperCar design and engineering skills and the engine design skills of AMG, the SLR is probably the fastest car with an automatic gearbox!

It's gull-wing doors hark back to the MB 300SLR of 1955 and this car is powered by a 5.4ltr V8 developing 617 Hp which provides almost rocket-ship levels of performance. 0-62mph reached in 3.5 seconds and on to a top speed of 210mph.

Also saw this rocket ship in South Wiltshire.

One weekend in August we went to a classic car show at Wroughton Airfield and revelled in the sounds of a load of AC Cobras, saw plenty of Jenson Interceptors and other lovely classics but a few days after, saw a genuine Ford GT40 on the road.

Back in the 60s Ford attempted to buy Ferrari for their sports car experience. The takeover was rebuffed and in frustration, Ford decided to take Ferrari to task and to design a sports car with the sole purpose of winning the Le Mans 24 hour race. That was the design brief, the result was the F40. So named because it is just 40" high. And, yes - it went on to beet Ferrari at LeMans, not just once but in 4 consecutive years. In the first year, the car was co-driven by Bruce McClaren - who went on to form the McClaren F1 team. The car was also produced for sale and a legend was made.

Originally powered by a 4.2ltr V8 engines of up to 7.0ltrs were fitted as the car evolved. Although not as rare as the other cars featured here, the GT40 is still an exciting and rare site on our roads.

And last but not least, spotted on the M4 motorway this very lunchtime, a very distinctive SuperCar, the Pagani Zonda. Built in Italy by Pagani at the rate of just 25 per year, this is a mid-engined 2 seater that has been designed and built by a brand new company with just motoring excellence in mind. Using a 7.3 ltr AMG tuned Mercedes V12 with 594 Hp and can reach 62mph in 3.7 seconds and tops out at 214mph. Stellar performance.

A real rarity on our roads. it was almost a pleasure to see this car. I say almost because the orange that it was painted in did not really suit the car. It's the type of orange you can see nearly everyday on the Ford Focus RS.

The Bourne Ultimatum

2007-08-24T10:46:00.000+01:00

Wedding anniversary - had a wonderful evening on our own....went to see the latest of the Bourne films, The Bourne Ultimatum.....well what can I say...what a film. It was everything the reviews said it was. Matt Damon makes a great agent, at least as good as the very best of the Bonds (who in my opinion are Sean Connnery and Daniel Craig). Bourne (again) is pretty much on his own, relying on his wits, a mobile phone, a pistol (which is rarely used), unarmed combat skills and some great driving.

The film is action from the start - consistently putting you on the edge of your seat. Great beginning, great middle and great end........(nope not going to tell) - - go on, pay up get along to the cinema and see it for yourself.

How to avoid domain name disasters

2007-05-25T02:12:00.000+01:00

You're planning on launching a new website and realise that you have yet to choose a domain name. You get your team together and start the selection process.

However, some thought should be given as to how your domain name will be perceived, the impression that it will give about your business and how the domain name will be marketed.

Some names are great, and self explanatory, www.diy.com, the home of the UK's No1 DIY chain, B&Q, www.bbc.co.uk, www.amazon.com, www.ebay.com, www.google.com etc.

In their own right, these are good - they either represent the company or the services offered by the company.

However, for some people, good is not enough, they need to be seen as being "smart", "trendy", "hip", "cool" or whatever the current word of the day is for one who is in tune with youth culture.

A classic example is the former mobile phone company, one2one. Great company name. It embodies the text culture, it hints at the nature of the company, is fairly short and snappy and looks good on paper and that is probably how it came about. People sharing ideas by email or paper.

Luckily the company had a huge marketing budget covering print media, TV and radio so the brand name was spread far and wide. However, just imagine how it would have been were the budget to be significantly smaller.

When talking about the web address, the owner would have had to almost spell it out to the listener - "yes, we have a web site, it is at www.one2one.co.uk and that is the word "one", the number "2", that's the digit 2, followed by the word "one" again.

All of a sudden the snappy web address seems a lot less snappy and almost a liability.

So how about www.business-in-the-west.co.uk, this looks really good on paper - easy to read, much easier than www.businessinthewest.co.uk and yet - - when one tries to communicate this message verbally, it gets extremely convoluted.

So, choosing a domain name can be more of a minefield than one may originally think.

Of course, choosing a domain name verbally also has its share of problems.

There was much hilarity when Italian battery distributor Powergen Italia was thought to have registered the domain name www.powergenitalia.com. Easy to see how this conclusion could have been reached - they are called Powergen Italia after all. However, put it on paper and it could take on a totally different, and unwanted, meaning.

It was later confirmed to be a spoof and powergenitalia was no more.

However, there are some sites where errors of this magnitude have been made.

I'm not sure whether this site is a spoof or not - I've been aware of it for a couple of years. It has been updated a couple of times and seems legitimate but it just does not "smell" right. The company sells promotional pens, the type where you get your company name printed on them. The company name is Pen Island, however put together as www.penisland.net is a little more risque, this IS an example where a hyphen would have helped.

How about the site put together by software experts to exchange ideas. www.expertsexchange.com - sadly they seem to have realised the error of their ways and sold this domain on now, but for a long time it was a repository for software ideas, not experts on sex change.

There is a site for actors who are looking for an agent. If you want to know who represents a particular actor, you can use the site www.whorepresents.com Sounds great over the phone but written down - well my wife would not be too happy if she thought I was buying presents for whores.

And finally - Californian Therapists. Want to find a therapist in California, then go to www.therapistfinder.com. They really should have used that hyphen, www.therapist-finder.com because the alternative reading (especially bearing in mind the potential target market) is simply awful.

So, there you have, exercise caution when selecting a domain name. See how it looks on paper, look at all the ways the letters can be split up and also think about how you would explain it to a potential customer over the phone.

Shaving

2007-04-25T09:53:00.000+01:00

Shaving

Have I mentioned how much I dislike shaving? Facial hair is like grass (and the hair on my head – what’s left of it) - it’s a perpetual nuisance. It grows, it gets cut, It grows, it gets cut ….

At least the hair on my head manages to grow at a rate that makes watching paint dry seem positively exciting, grass grows at a speed that only needs attention once a week however the hair on my face grows so fast that it needs daily (and occasionally twice daily) attention.

I prefer to “wet” shave – that euphemism for washing ones face then smearing on some kind of cream or foam and then dragging a blade or two or three across the hair so that the end result is something approaching acceptability in the community.

The creams, gels and foams all come with fancy names and fancy ingredients, calling to you from the supermarket shelf to add them to your trolley promising to turn the humdrum activity that is shaving in to something pleasurable and beneficial to ones skin. Don’t believe a word of it. Whether the gel from the can is blue, green or white it just does the same job, provides s minimum amount of lubrication so your blade (s) “glide” across your skin. PAH!

The best lubricant is oil (car manufacturers have known this for years which is why you put it in your engine) and the best shaving lubricant is also oil. Wonderful! Simply squeeze 3 or 4 drops in to the palm of your hand, add a little water, rub in to face and shave. If things begin to feel a little dry, just splash face with water and lubrication is restored. However, the shaving oil manufacturers know their little product is the diamond amongst quartz and charge accordingly. It’s not as expensive as ink for your printer but it is not far off.

And then we get to the razor itself. In the early days, you’d have (or your barber would have) a “cut throat” razor, a single, lethally sharp blade which when wielded with skill delivered a perfect shave. However, the skill was hard to come by and I’m sure that trainee barbers had a pile of bodies out the back where the “cut throat” had done just that.

Then, in the late 18th century, the “safety razor” was invented by a Frenchman. The single blade was enclosed in a body which left just enough of the blade exposed to trim the hair and nick the skin but not enough was exposed to do real damage.

Then along came Mr. King Camp Gillette and invented the first “safety razor” with disposable blades.

He also pretty much invented a form of brand marketing which is still with us today, the “loss leader”. Sell the tool (the razor) cheaply (often at below cost) and make your money on the sales of the consumables (the blades). This is used by inkjet printer manufacturers to this day. For some printers it actually costs more to replenish the ink than it does to throw away the printer and go buy a new one.

Anyway, the razor wars soon developed with an intensity which mirrored the cold war at its peak. I can remember a “blade” which was actually a ribbon of sharpened steel that you wound on to a fresh section when the part you were using became blunt. Razor 50p, blade pack – several pounds.

Then came the twin blade razor. If one blade won’t shave you close enough, two will give you the best shave of your life. After the twin blade came the pivoting head – all the better to follow the contours of your skin for the “best shave of your life”. After the pivoting head came the “lubrastrip”. That little strip of “stuff” that was supposed to keep the skin lubricated and make the whole shaving experience easier. Only it didn’t, after 2 or 3 shaves, the strip was “empty” and next to useless. I guess the psychology was to encourage you to use a new blade – that way, you’d whip through blades at the rate of several a week and be spending more than the GDP of several African nations on new blades.

But two blades weren’t enough, just like it wasn’t enough to have one nuclear warhead per missile, soon we had razors with three blades, the first blade shaves you close, the second blade shaves you closer and the third blade shaves you closer still.

What hokum. It’s like the snake oil salesmen from the Wild West. How the heck can a second blade find hair to trim if the first blade has trimmed it already? Yes, the manufacturers dished out fancy animations showing how the first blade cut the hair and the second blade pulled it out from the skin a little and trimmed it some more. Balderdash. Hair is firmly rooted, the only time it gets pulled out a little is when it’s being pulled out – and pulling out facial hair is PAINFUL….why do you think us guys shave and don’t wax our faces? PAIN!!!!!

Now we have razors with 5 blades, 4 for the “best shave ever” and a fifth one, set on its own for trimming those “difficult to reach” areas. Well, excuse me – I’ve managed perfectly well with a two blade set up, thank you very much. It shaves closely and it’s fine for those tricky areas. I guess that’s because the cartridge it is in is small enough to be maneuverable, unlike the 4 and 5 bladed behemoths where the cartridge is so unwieldy, it would be like driving a juggernaut around a tiny country lane.

So why don’t I shave with an electric – after all, they leave your face smooth, and leave you looking like a male model…..wow.

Well – how can they “shave as close as a blade – or your money back”? I don’t see it. There’s a sheet of metal (the foil) that sits between the blade and your skin. The hair goes through the holes and slots in the foil and is trimmed by the blade – so what about the bit that s in the hole or slot? How does that get trimmed? Well it doesn’t. If I use an electric razor, my five o’ clock shadow makes an appearance at 2pm. That’s how I know it does not shave as close as a blade.

Also, my facial hair is unruly and undisciplined – it does not lie all pointed in the same direction and so an electric finds It difficult to round up all the hairs and present them to the blades so I end up with straggles – and have had to use a blade to trim in the past and I’ve tried razors from the best – Braun, Remington, Philips – from little battery powered ones that I kept in the car to multi-headed mains powered lawn mowers and they all have the same problem. My five o’clock shadow ignores the schedule and puts in an appearance mid afternoon.

So, why don’t I grow a beard? Well, as a self confessed Geek, I’d have to have one of those trendy goatee things and I reckon that keeping it trimmed would be more trouble than shaving and if I just went for a more traditional beard well…..oh heck…..if I want to save some food for later I’ll pop it in a Tupperware box and put it in the fridge. I don’t want to be able to revisit my meals by sucking on my beard and although I love the wildlife of this country, I think enough hedgerows are being planted these days that birds and bees and sundry other critters don’t need me to provide them with a home in my own personal bush.

Time to spare? Take the Idiot Test

2007-02-17T14:38:00.000Z

This is the opening image from a website. It's a simple test, interestingly titled "The Idiot Test".

Once you have spent a few minutes playing, you'll see why it's called "The Idiot Test"

A word of warning though, you could lose quite a bit of time playing the game.

Great Deals on PCSs

2007-02-12T21:08:00.000Z

Don't know how long these offers will last, but if you are in the market for a second PC, a PC for the kids, a home media server or just a PC for the office and are prepared to accept a 6 month warranty, then have a look at some of the offers over at www.morgancomputers.co.uk

AMD Athlon XP3000 processor, 256Mb ram, 40Gb hard drive, DVD reader / CD burner, onboard sound and graphics, 10/100 network connection with Microsoft XP Home. All of this for £149.99 Ex. VAT and shipping. OK, so it will never be a PC for gamers but for office type work, web browsing etc it would be ideal. Rev it up a bit and add some more memory, invest in a screen (17" CRT for £39.99 Ex VAT and shipping) or search around and bag a 17" flat screen for around £80 + VAT and carriage

Or if you need a little more "oomph" how about an Intel Celeron 2.8Ghz processor, 512Mb ram, onboard sound and graphics, 80Gb hard drive, DVD writer, 10/100 network connection, Windows XP Home edition for just £179.99 + VAT and shipping. Again, you may need to add a screen if you don't have one already.

And last, but not least, Intel Pentium 3.06Ghz, 1Gb ram, 80Gb hard drive, DVD writer, onboard sound and graphics, 10/100 network connection and Windows XP Home. This is quite a tidy powerhouse of a computer provided gaming is not your thing, all of this for £229 + VAT and shipping.

These are pretty hot deals and NO, I am not on a commission.

Anyways, just thought I'd share these "deals of the day".

Is this the world's funniest joke?

2007-02-07T15:54:00.000Z

Many researchers spent a great deal of time recently trying to find the world's funniest joke. (Good money if you can get it, thinks I). Anyhow, here it is - judge for yourself.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Ecommerce sales soar to new hights

2007-02-02T10:17:00.000Z

Online sales increase by 57% in 2006

Now that the tills are quieter and the crowds have diminished after an exceptional online year it is the time for a little reflection.

2006 saw another record year for online sales in the UK, with no signs that the consumer’s love affair with on line shopping is diminishing, quite the reverse.

IMRG have been monitoring online trends for many years, and have seen they have seen exceptional growth year on year. In 2004 the retail spend online was £14.5bn, this increased by 32% to £19.2bn in 2005 and by a staggering 57% in 2006 to £30.2bn with over £42bn expected in sales in 2007. This equates to nearly 15% of the total UK spend on shopping.

In fact the market growing so rapidly that many established high street stores are considering increasing their investment in on-line activities after a record 2006 say market intelligence company, Hitwise.

Leading the activity is Waitrose who saw traffic to their website more than double in 2006, HMV saw increases of 50% and Marks and Spencer saw web traffic increase by 25%. In the case of M&S, overall trading figures were up by 5.6% overall but online earnings jumped by 70%

There was more good news for M&S earlier in the year when its website topped a new ranking of websites that were most user friendly. Web usability consultants Webcredible assessed 20 of the most popular High Street retailers to see how easy it was to use their sites. Other stores evaluated included Currys, Debenhams, Woolworths, Boots and The Early Learning Centre. M&S topped the survey with a score of 81% whilst Clinton Cards were at the other end with a score of just 25%

This high score relating to the ease of use of their website no doubt goes a long way towards explaining the phenomenal growth in Marks & Spencer’s online growth last year.

This all came to a peak at Christmas where online spending rose by 54% over 2005, increasing from £5bn in 2005 to £7.6bn for the 10 weeks before Christmas.

All of this only serves to demonstrate the consumer's growing love of shopping online, with all the benefits that it brings – no hassle having to find a parking space, no fighting your way through crowds of people or waiting in long queues at check-outs, and best of all, being able to shop when you want to shop, not when the store decides it will open its doors.

For the UK small business, it is essential to take advantage of this switch from traditional shopping as soon as possible, otherwise there is a really big danger that they will be left behind, their traditional customer base migrating to stores and suppliers which can service them in the on-line world.

Friday Humour

2007-01-26T21:51:00.000Z

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?

Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.

The easiest way to find something that’s lost is to buy a replacement.

How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?

Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing

Road Rage Rant

2007-01-25T13:03:00.000Z

Some of you will disagree with me over this, hopefully some of you may agree but I feel the need to rant.

A few days ago, I was travelling across Wiltshire on a nice country road. Speed limit 60mph, road certainly safe at that (and higher) speed - just a nice road to drive on. It has some sweeping curves, lovely scenery and a good surface. The one thing it is not so good for is overtaking, it is lightly trafficked which makes overtaking opportunities infrequent and the sweeping curves are blocked by trees, cutting down on visibility.

So, there I was, looking forwards to an enjoyable drive when I arrive behind a driver doing 40mph. Nothing wrong with that, in it self. The driver was wearing a hat (not baseball more Trilby) and his passenger looked quite small with grey hair.

Aha - the retired driver and his wife out for a gentle meander across the countryside. I come across these all the time and don't have a problem, after all - I'll be old and grey soon enough and I just hope that i manage to keep my faculties in good enough order to be able to continue to drive.

However, what got my goat was that this couple had a new (less than 1 year old) Volkswagen Golf GTi

Now this car has a turbo charged 2ltr engine delivering 200 HP, a 0 to 60 acceleration of under 7 seconds and a top speed over 140mph.

The car has a 6 speed gearbox and suspension tuned for performance. So why would someone buy a car tuned for performance and pootle around at 40mph on a road that was just crying out to be driven on. They should have been in my car and I should have been in theirs. Then, even if we were in the same order on the road, the vehicles would be more in tune with their respective drivers.

Oh well - - - just road rage I guess.

Joke of the week

2007-01-21T02:05:00.000Z

So, this man - fresh back from the USA visits an entertainment agent and says
"I'm just back from a successful tour of the USA with Toby my talking dog - can you get me any bookings in the UK?"

"Hmmmm....." says the agent a touch cynically - "Let's see shall we"

The agent then looks a the dog and asks "What were the conditions like in the US?"

To which the dog, looking the agent straight in the eyes, replies "Ruff"

"Hmmmmm" says the agent, looks at the dog and asks "So, how was the flight back?"

Again, the dog looks the agent straight in the eyes and replies "Ruff"

The agent, becoming more sure of his position and seeing that the man has a copy of today's newspaper, looks at the dog and asks "What are the headlines in today's paper?"

The dog just sits and looks at the agent.

The agent asks the question again, this time in a slightly louder voice.

The dog does not move.

The agent transfers his gaze to the dog's owner who, looking very embarrassed, gets up and drags the reluctant dog from the office.

In the corridor, the man rolls the newspaper in to a tight tube and begins to beat the dog, interspersing the beating with his words

"WHY DID YOU NOT" "TELL THE MAN" "THE BLOODY HEADLINES IN THE BLOODY" "NEWSPAPER. YOU'VE RUINED" EVERY" "THING NOW"

Cowering, the dog sits and looks pitifully at the man for a few moments. Finally, he opens his mouth and says............

"I've lost count of the number of times that I have told you that I still can't read"

Worst kept secret

2007-01-10T09:20:00.000Z

Hello and happy new year.

Yesterday, January 9th 2007, Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers, announced the launch of the new Apple phone, the iPhone. For many in the IT sector, this was more the confirmation of one of the biggest rumours from the last 6 months as opposed to anything new.

Many new stories claim to have had early and exclusive pictures of the phone. However none of them seem to have gotten it right - they were all wide of the mark. The iPhone design seems to taken everyone by surprise - it looks fabulous - now all it has to do is to work as well as it looks. The 2 images to the left show 2 views of the phone, the top shows the user interface whilst the second image shows the iPhone with an image acting as the wallpaper.

Why should everyone have been surprised by the look? Beats me. After all, Apple's chief product designer, Jonathan Ive, has a history of great design with Apple. Just look at all Apple products, the iMac, MacMini, MacBook, all the iPods - not a poor or substandard design amongst them.

however, the quality of the user interface also looks to have caught people out. Today, as mobile phones become more and more complex they seem to become less and less intuitive to use. Apple may just have broken the mould.

However, it's not just a phone, it's a wide screen iPod as well capable of playing music and videos - in portrait or landscape with a sensor built in to detect which way you are holding the screen. Not only is it an iPod but it can browse the web and the size of the screen and ease of use may just make the iPhone the best way to browse the web on the move.

So, what can it do as a phone, well all your standard phone things, make and receive calls, collect voice mail (AND let you listen to your messages in the order YOU choose - not just in the order they were received - you can send and receive SMS text messages and use the 2MP camera to take photos. Of course, with plenty of storage space on board, you probably won't have to worry about running out of space for your photos.

Back to the web - not only do you have a fully featured web browser but access to your email, access to maps (provided via my favourite on-line mapping service, Goggle Maps) and desktop widgets - which allow great tools to be added to the iPhone.

Oh, and the iPhone is controlled through the use of a touch screen that is set up to accept your finger as the key "touching" device - no more fussing with (and losing) fiddly styli. And it has wireless networking, making it easy to transfer music and photos to and from your home computer and allowing to use wireless access points when you are out and about.

I have to say that I am certainly impressed. If the user experience matches the design (and I have a feeling that it will) then I have only one comment to add......where do I join the queue to buy one?

Merry Christmas

2006-12-19T16:38:00.000Z

'tis the season to be merry - or not

2006-12-06T15:16:00.000Z

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him!

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?

At a Ho-ho-tel!

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?

"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

Why does Santa like to work in his garden?

Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What smells most in a chimney?

Santa's nose!

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus!

What does Santa like to have for breakfast?

Mistle-"toast"!

What's red & white and red & white and red & white?

Santa rolling down a hill!

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?

Looks like "rain", "Dear"!

Where does Father Christmas go to vote?

The North Poll!

What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?

Cinder Claus!

What goes oh, oh, oh?

Santa Claus walking backwards!

What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective?

Santa Clues!

Is this the Emperor's new clothes?

2006-12-06T15:00:00.000Z

vis.ta [vis-tuh] – noun
1/a view or prospect, esp. one seen through a long, narrow avenue or passage, as between rows of trees or houses.
2/ a far-reaching mental view: vistas of the future.

The History
In 2001, Microsoft launched Windows XP, the long awaited amalgamation of their 2 previous operating system lines, the Windows 95/98/ME consumer range and Windows NT/2000 professional products. As early as the middle of 2002 Microsoft announced that the next version of Windows (working title – Longhorn) was scheduled for release in the middle of 2004.Over 2 years late and after an estimated investment of $10Bn the new version of Windows (Windows VistaTM) is with us. Corporate subscribers to Microsoft’s licensing program have been able to legitimately download Vista since November 30 2006; consumers are waiting a little longer, with Vista finally hitting the streets towards the end of January 2007.

So what’s different?
First off, and most importantly, Microsoft claims to have resolved the security flaws and risks which have haunted all previous Windows versions. This is partly due to better control over user accounts and partly due to extended security testing to ensure that bugs are fixed before launch, as opposed to being identified and fixed post launch.Also, in Windows some Vista editions, BitLocker has been introduced. This is a technology which automatically encrypts data stored on hard drives so if, for any reason the computer or hard drive is lost or stolen, the data cannot be accessed and consequently confidential information remains precisely that.

Graphically, Vista has an exciting new look and feel about it (called Windows Aero with Flip 3D). Semi transparent windows let the user see what is happening in other applications whilst the desktop uses a 3D representation of the applications that are opened, and you are able to move through these in this 3 dimensional world. It’s hard to visualise but looks great on the monitor.

Microsoft has enhanced the search utility, making it far easier and much faster to locate documents, images and other items.

Gone is the “Start” button, replaced by a great looking Vista icon, removing the strangeness that was having to press a “Start” button to end a computing session. Microsoft have also taken the opportunity to streamline the menu which appeared from the Start button, making it far more user friendly and intuitive.

Microsoft have also killed off the separate Windows editions, Tablet and Media Centre, these variations are now integrated within various Vista releases.

The options
When Windows XP was launched, there were just 2 versions, Home and Professional to choose from, right from launch Windows Vista has many more variants to choose from, depending on requirements, and (with the exception of Windows Vista Starter) each is available for both 32bit and 64bit platforms .

Windows Starter 2007 – this is targeted at developing markets, is a feature poor release and will only run 3 programs simultaneously. However, this keeps the price down and reduces the hardware specification required.

Windows Vista Home Basic and Home Basic N*
Core technologies include – Parental Controls, Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Defender (spyware and anti-virus) and Instant Search, Windows Media Player*

Windows Vista Business and Business N*
Core technologies include - Business back-up, Windows Aero, Small Business Resources, Windows Meeting Space, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology, Windows Fax and Scan, Windows Media Player*
Windows Vista Home Premium
Core technologies include - Parental controls, Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Media Centre, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology

Windows Vista Enterprise (limited availability)
Core technologies include - Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Tablet and Touch technology, BitLocker, Windows Ultimate Extras, Business Networking
Windows Vista Ultimate
Core technologies include - Windows Photo Gallery, Windows Aero, Windows Media Centre, Windows Tablet and Touch Technology, Game Performance Tweaker, BitLocker, Business Networking, Business Back-up, Windows Meeting Space,

What do I need?
A visit to the Microsoft website will show that a surprisingly low specification is required to run Windows Vista.

Microsoft has two levels of Vista hardware certification in mind for new PCs, “Vista Capable” and “Premium Ready”.A “Vista Capable” PC will require at least a 800Mhz Intel or AMD processor (or similar), 512Mb ram, a DirectX 9.0 capable graphics card, a 40Gb hard drive (with at least 15Gb of free space), DVD drive, audio and internet capabilities. To be “Premium Ready” the PC must step up to a 1Ghz processor, 1Gb Ram and a graphics card with 128Mb Ram.

However, it has always been the case that this minimum requirement is well short of the actual specification for a PC which performs to expectations with many people in the industry advising that a doubling of the specifications should deliver a more enjoyable experience.

Conclusion
Windows Vista is an evolution of the existing products, offering improved security, better document management and a sleek user interface. Only time will tell whether it has the market presence to replicate the success of its predecessors and to recoup the huge investment made by Microsoft.

* “N” versions are releases brought about by the anti-competitive investigation by the EU and do not feature Windows Media Player and related technologies, allowing the user to choose their own media playing software. It is unlikely that there will ba any price differential for these versions.

What is web 2.0?

2006-10-20T13:34:00.000+01:00

I read in the technology news, almost everyday, something about web 2.0. It's meant to be the "new" internet - however could it be like the emperors "new" clothes?

Does anyone have a view as to what Web 2.0 really is, if they do - please share because I'd love to know.

From what I've been able to work out, half of the people who care think that Web 2.0 is just smoke and mirrors and the other half think it really exists.

I guess my opinion sits midway between the 2 (yes, the fence sitter). However, I do acknowledge that the web is evolving. In my opinion, the web used to be all about "delivery". Delivery of information and knowledge, delivery of web pages containing items that you may wish to buy, delivery of news etc. More and more though, the web is about collaboration, working together, sharing information, contributing to sites.

One of the oldest types of site like this is Friends Re-united, where you can find out what old school chums are up to, perhaps even add a few comments of your own. This was really a form of social networking. Now, there are so many more - in the business sphere there are
eCademy and LinkedIn to name just 2. Socially there is MySpace and YouTube, all of which cry out for user participation. Perhaps the largest is Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia where you, the user, gets to add information to pages about topics that you are familiar with.
Of course, there are more - even dear old Google is getting involved with access to free online services such as calendars, spreadsheets, word processing software - all of which can be shared with others (to either read or edit).

So, does Web 2.0 really exist? I still dunno but I do know that Web 1.0 is certainly evolving.

Gadget of the week

The Aerosoarer is billed as the worldÂs smallest fully remote controllable indoor aeroplane. It weighs 3.5 grams, has a 26cm wingspan and is made of Styrofoam and flight time is a massive 40 seconds. Â£24.99.

Using the latest in Infra Red technology the controller has just two buttons to control the throttle and rudder. The controller also acts as charger and a 40 second charge will give you about 30-40 seconds flight time. It can fly up, down, left and right, or run in circular mode. It has an amazing 3 meter turning radius, so it can navigate in the smallest of spaces. Aerosoarer also comes with a special wall display hanger, so it can be hanged on the wall when not in use.

From http://www.redferret.net/

Is English dying

2006-09-18T11:45:00.000+01:00

This could be a little controversial and is certainly a discussion point.

I was thinking about how childhoods have changed over the years. In my day I built plastic kits (Airfix), did some wargaming with them, went out on my bike and played a lot - read quite a bit, was lucky enough to spend a lot of time on the sea sailing a dinghy, canoeing, swimming, diving, fishing, radio and TV (3 channels) with communication happening by conversation (person to person and over the telephone) and by letter. Now, the options for conversation are much more diverse, instant messaging, networking channels like MySpace, mobile phones, text messaging, email and options for entertainment far far wider, computers, the internet, computer and /or console games, TV (hundreds of channels), video, DVD, then all of the traditional games etc. Then you see reports in the media about how this is or isn't affecting everybody that I began to think about language (and I'm sure that I'm not the first)

Is English (as opposed to American English) dying? It's just a thought - no evidence to prove either way, just that our kids are so immersed in American culture in ways never dreamed of in the past (through TV, the internet, computer games and music) that it's possible that within 2 or 3 generations, English (as known by the English - with all of its quirky spellings and pronunciations) could well be past its sell by date.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing, does it really matter? I'm not sure that it does really. People may say that it gives us our heritage but surely that is defined by our glorious (and less than glorious) past.

So long as we all get along and can understand one another, is it really an issue?

The Tesco Supermarket Shuffle

2006-09-10T13:55:00.000+01:00

The story referred to in this link relates to "price cuts" introduced by Tesco as part of a price war. However, before the prices were "cut" they were increased, so the cuts, in reality, may well have been false.

Now, I spent quite a while working in retail and know that underhanded activities such as this are not uncommon. How about buying in "special" products prior to a holiday - selling them at inflated prices and ripping of any early purchasers and then, at the time of the holiday promotion - hacking the price and marketing at 1/2 price. Not new, not smart and pretty well known about.

Now, I feel that supermarkets may have developed a more sinister way of jacking up the bottom line. My wife and I experimented with online grocery shopping last week. It was the first time that the convenience really suited us (OK, a 22:30 delivery may not have appeared convenient to some, but diary issues meant that this was the best way to shop during that particular week.

Tesco was the default destination - they were the only one to be able to deliver on the required day. So, we placed our order and spent around ÃÂ£70.00

When the products arrived, there were a number of substitutions (replacements for items out of stock). However the substitutions were less than logical. The cheapest dishwasher tablets substituted for the most expensive. Not even the same brand, so it's not that they were trying to consider brand loyalty and there was a difference in price of 300%. Kitchen roll, again the selected product substituted for one 250% more expensive. A couple of other substitutions were less extreme in their variances but looking at them, the scope for extreme switching is much less - loose broccoli for substituted for pre-packed for example.

OK, first off - where an item is out of stock, I feel that it should be replaced by the next best match - i.e the next one up in the range, not a move to the extreme end of the range. I bet that if you ordered the most expensive item in a range of products and it was out of stock, they would not substitute the cheapest product on the shelf?Also, where a product is offered as "available" and it becomes non-available, either it should not be shipped or the difference in cost should be carried by the retailer.

This is inertia delivery at it's very worst. The difference in price between the original order and the revised order with replacements was over 10%, if Icould generate an extra 10% from my orders, I'd be a happy man with a very happy boss.

Many people may not check price differential, so instant turnover and profit uplift. Some will really need the product and have no option but to accept - with the same result, and some may return the replacement items (As I chose to do). However, I then learned that it takes between 3 and 5 days for the credit to be actioned. I discovered this after calling Tesco to query why there appeared to be a delay in receiving a credit for the returned items.

So, Tesco win either way - either an increase in turnover and profit as replaced items are not returned or an accumulation of interest on the sum due to be refunded whilst they take their own sweet time to action the credit to the account. If all internet shoppers have their bill increased by 10%, well that's a nice little earner. If some return the goods and have to wait for credit, I bet that's a nice little earner as well - all goingstraightt to the bottom line.

I think I may call this the Supermarket Shuffle - they shuffle OUR money to their benefit (just like the banks). Now, I don't begrudge Tesco a profit (£2Bn profit last year) but I do think that this latest little wheeze is more than a little unfair on their customers. As a consequence, I certainly will not be internet shopping with Tesco again.

A few of my favourite things

2006-08-30T14:32:00.000+01:00

As an IT consultant, I'm sometimes asked which sites are my favourites - well here are just a couple.

The worlds smartest web browser - www.irider.com

IT news and information - www.theregister.co.uk, www.zdnet.co.uk, www.silicon.com and www.theinquirer.co.uk

General news, http://news.bbc.co.uk, www.timesonline.co.uk, www.cnn.com
www.private-eye.co.uk and www.theonion.com for a different view of the world
www.snopes.com - the place to check out urban legends

Gadgets - www.redferret.net and www.engadget.com

Music - www.pinkfloyd.co.uk - the best band on the planet (IMHO)

and many more news, IT and other links at www.andypoulton.com/links.htm

Top Blogs

Matt Cutts (Google expert and Gadgets) www.mattcutts.com
Danny Sulivan (search engine maestro) http://daggle.com
Jeremy Zawodny (Yahoo search) - http://jeremy.zawodny.com

And I can't leave without recommending www.virus-safe.info if you are vexed by viruses, flummoxed by firewalls or sickened by spyware

Of course, I'd love to hear your favourite sites as well.

Tara for now

Exploding Dell batteries

2006-08-23T09:11:00.000+01:00

Hmmmm.....Dell recall 4.1m batteries . Scenes similar to the one on the right are not unfamiliar sites to users of certain Dell laptops. It would appear that the high tech Lithium Ion batteries manufactured by Sony that have been supplied with these laptops may have a manufacturing problem. This problem causes the batteries to run ever hotter until eventually they burst in to flames.

However, the key to this story is that the batteries have been made by Sony and that the problem appears to be down to tiny shards of metal left in the battery during the manufacturing process. These shards eventually cause the battery to short-circuit and then thermal runaway and fire is the only outcome.

So.......Who else uses Lithium Ion batteries manufactured by Sony? Apple for one, Lenova for another and Sony of course. But does this problem ONLY affect laptop batteries or could any Lithium Ion batter manufactured by Sony be a potential problem. Blimey, I've loads of Lithium Ion rechargeable batteries, I use them in my digital camera, in my MP3 player, in kids games around the house, I'm sure many others have many more in use - maybe in fire detectors (now how tragic would that be if the device designed to detect fires were to catch fire itself).

With all these potential explosive devices in everyday objects who needs liquid explosives to bring down planes?

The Big Blue IKEA Bag

2006-08-22T16:37:00.000+01:00

In a recent news article, I noticed that Tesco are now "giving" 1 Green Club Card point for every bag that you re-use when you do your weekly grocery shop.

They hope to reduce plastic bag usage by 25% over the next two years. To help their customers get over this shock, they are also recommending their 10p "Bag for Life" as a Great replacement. I think the theory is that you buy these "Bags for Life" and when they break then Tesco will give you a replacement - although I'm not sure how they define "Life".

However, I now think there is a better alternative.

We recently moved house and my wife suggested that we bought a number of the Ikea Big Blue Bags on a recent visit to our local store. For those of you unfamiliar with them, they cost 25p each and are about as deep as a standard carrier bag but are a lot longer, Ikea say they will take five times as much as a standard bag. Well, let me tell you - she was spot on, they were really useful during the move for carrying all manner of things, soft furnishings, duvets, bedding, towels, the list is almost endless. They have a popper to keep them closed and short and long handles to make carrying them as easy as possible. Great value for 25p.

I have recently learned that Ikea are also looking to significantly reduce the number of disposable carrier bags. They have started charging 5 p per bag, with this increasing to 10p per bag later in 2006. This is a great incentive to migrate to something more eco friendly.

Although I haven't tried using the Big blue Bag for my grocery shopping yet, and won't benefit because I don't shop at Tesco, I do think that it will make a great way to bring the shopping home and must remember to put the bags in the car next time I head off to Asda.

So let's hear it for the Big Blue Ikea Bag.

The World Cup and all that stuff

2006-07-07T22:17:00.000+01:00

So, we are nearly there. The World Cup final is just two short days away and then it will al be over for another 4 years. England failed to live up to the hype and expectation, failing in the match with Portugal and going out on penalties for what is the umpteenth time. How professional footballers paid over Â£100,000 PER WEEK can fail to get a little round leather football past a goal keeper is beyond me. Also, why was Theo Walcott included in the squad and NEVER used - what is that all about? Huh? HUH?

Ah well, the era of Sven passes by and issues in the era of Steve "I'm sat in the stand making lists becuase sitting by the pitch motivating my team is sooooo uncool" McClaren.

Mr Beckham has stood down from the captaincy and so could now be dropped from the team.

And then there's the cricket - last summer be beat the auld enemy - The Australians - and ranked highly up the world cricked league. This year - OMG, beaten by Sri Lanka - a little like the England World Cup team being beaten by kids from the local school. Oh well.

Is there any good news?

The joy ofdata backup

2006-04-07T09:39:00.000+01:00

The joy of……data back-up

To my horror (and that of the rest of my family) my trusty PC decided to turn up its toes last week and die.

The machine crashed and generated a BSoD (Blue Screen of Death) indicating that something serious had happened. In fairness to Windows XP, I think this was only about the 4th time that this had happened since installing XP on this computer (about 18 months ago) and, although I hate to say this, is something of a testimony to the robustness and reliability of the Microsoft platform.

I cycled the power button, expecting the machine to restart, as it has done in the past. Sadly, although the fans roared in to action, very little else did – no BIOS screen and consequently no boot!

I stripped the machine back to the bare minimum of components, just enough to get it running, unplugging all external devices (printer, scanner, USB hub, external hard drive etc) in an attempt to trouble shoot – still nothing. I removed internal expansion cards, including a nice new Matrox graphics card, still……..nothing!!!

Ultimately, after much stress, I decided that the best solution was to buy a minimum of new components which would replace all possible fault points, add a performance increase and yet not cost too much. Consequently, a new motherboard, AMP processor, case and memory was purchased from a local store (I had decided that the pounds saved by buying on-line was not worth the 3-5 day delay in components arriving)

OK, so I had a worrying hour or so when nothing refused to work but after some pedantic trouble shooting, I identified the problem and by 2.30 am in the morning the PC was up, running significantly faster than before (new processor being 50% faster than the old one) and with Windows XP successfully re-registered with Microsoft HQ.

All of my applications were intact so no reinstallations required…HURRAH!!!!

And, because of my paranoia about data, all of my data was intact because of the back-up regime that I have in place.

Windows lives on my C: drive – with a couple of applications. The majority of applications, and data resides on my E: drive and is regularly backed up (every other day) to a large external hard drive using a free piece of software called Cobian Back-up.

Extremely critical data is also backed up to an on-line repository every time it is changed (Thanks Mamut) although I did realise that my emails were out of the back-up loop.

This has now been resolved so all data is backed up and critical data is backed up twice.

Is your data backed-up? Should it be? Ask yourself this -“what would happen if I could not access my data?”

PC could crash, could be stolen or you just may not be able to gain access to it (fire and flood spring to mind as a couple of the risks here)

If the answer is “my business would really suffer” then you really NEED to organise both the physical elements of back-up but also develop a procedure to ensure that the back-up takes place regularly and that critical data is stored away from the master machine.

I was lucky – you may be less so.

Forgive me father

2006-01-20T16:56:00.000Z

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. What a way to start a blog huh – but it has been quite a while since I last posted (and that was meant to be my start of a weekly post) so the road to hell is truly paved with good intentions.

So, here we are in 2006, Christmas has passed, the new year has been and gone, Valentines Day is just over the horizon with Easter looming up fast in the outside lane.

Kind of begs the question – where does time go?

Well, I’ve been giving this some thought and rather than take you through Steve Hawking's A briefer history of time, I thought I’d introduce you to (fanfare of trumpets)

Andy’s 3 phase philosophy of time.

Phase 1 – Historical Time
When looking retrospectively at anything, one’s perspective on time is always slightly skewed and, unlike certain rear view mirrors, things are often further away than they seem.

What am I blathering on about I hear you ask. Well. Look at this way – that newish DVD player that you bought 10 months ago develops a problem. Great, it’s only 10 months old you think to yourself, I’ll find the receipt and have it fixed under guarantee. You go looking for the receipt in your magnificent filing system (or the box you keep in the cupboard under the stairs), find the receipt and are flabbergasted to find that the DVD player is not 10 months young – you bought it 14 months ago and consequently it’s out of warranty. Now, why did that happen? It’s historical time, rushing away faster and faster behind you.

Phase 2 – Future Time
This is exactly opposite to Historical Time in that Future Time really compresses time and makes the future rush towards you faster and faster. Imagine the scenario – you are asked to deliver a document/presentation/report in 6 months time. Great, you think, you have plenty of time to do the research, create the draft, review your work, re-write a couple of times until it is spot-on. It conveys precisely the message that you are looking to get across.

Time passes – you look at your diary, the deadline is 3 months away and you still haven’t done anything. No problem, there’s still 3 months to go, that’s plenty of time.

Time passes – and blow me – the report has got to be in TOMORROW!

Where did the time go?

Phase 3 – Computer Time
Computer Time is in a world of its own. It’s like you enter a time warp. You say to your partner that you are just off in to the office/study/bedroom/space under the stairs because you want to spend half an hour tidying up some work. Off you go at 7pm.

At 12pm you re-appear, partner is angry …..”What on earth have you been doing all this time?”

Confused because you are sure that you have only completed 30 minutes of work, you check the clock on the wall to see that 5 hours has passed. How did that happen?

Well – I don’t understand the psychology of it all but it really seems that the human mind has a weird way of managing time, and that’s without including Age Time. As you get older the years fly past like months used to, the months fly past as weeks used to and weeks are gone like days…and as for days, you blink your eye and its tomorrow already!!

Time is a wonderful thing!

That’s all for now, I’ll write some more soon, I promise.

Be good, be careful, be safe!

What a difference a month makes

2005-09-14T12:02:00.000+01:00

Just over a month ago I was writing about space shuttle launches and recovery, strikes at Heathrow and the beginning of a possible England cricket team renaissance.

Katrina
How rapidly things change. Now, a lot of time and thought has been focused on the the tragedy unfolding on the Gulf Coast, USA - particularly the hardship and suffering faced by the residents of New Orleans (although we should not forget that it was actually a whole swath of the coastal area that was affected)

It looks as if the rescue / recovery / rebuild is now getting in to full swing although how the thousands of people who have been displaced from their homes will face the future is beyond me. I have wondered how I would cope in similar circumstances and the honest answer is that I'm not sure that I could, especially in the short term. Imagine the scenario - you have nothing to call home any longer, you may only have the clothes that you stand up in, all your personal possessions have probably been destroyed, your job has disappeared (perhaps only temporarily, maybe permanently) you have no source of income and your friends have dispersed to all corners of the country. With many banks being local, it's possible that you have no access to your money any more, that's presupposing that you had any money saved up and weren't just living from paycheque to paycheque. And that's just the tangible things - it does not even begin to look at the stress and emotional impact of Katrina as well as possible health implications.

I suspect that the above barely scratches the surface of the turmoil that the survivors are going through and certainly has not even begun to cover the distress of the possible loss of loved ones, or even the uncertainty associated with the not-knowing as to whether loved ones have survived, are among the missing or have died as a result of the catastrophe.

Cost of oil
On a more selfish note, we are faced with an ever increasing rise in fuel costs - this will impact in so many different ways - suppliers will have to increase costs, pushing up the cost of living, petrol prices are soaring, heating costs are escalating, businesses may fail as their costs rise and so it goes on.

I think a lot of this is down to the current speculative nature of the oil supply market place. Historically, oil was just bought and sold in a supply / demand lead economy, but it now seems to have become a commodity and, as such, is actively traded on the futures market whereby investors actually gamble (effectively) on the future price of oil and are looking to make financial gain by trading their oil purchases. I suspect that this could easily add 25-30% to the cost of a barrel of oil.

Although not a fan of governmental control (nationalisation) I can see the benefit in national governments taking control of oil markets, not for their profit but to be better able to manage the market, to ensure costs are realistic, and to remove the uncertainty in prices caused by speculation.

Cricket
And now the good news - following on from my comments in my last entry with regards to cricket - the England cricket team have magnificently beaten the Australians in one of the most enthralling series of games ever seen. The excitement levels have been consistently high because in many ways, the games of cricket could have swung either way. Now, the England cricket team are feted as national hero's (and quite rightly so) although their prize is more symbolic than tangible. After all, the Ashes reside in a tiny urn, less than 6 inches high.

Football
I am not going to say much about the England football team, other than - beating Wales by 1 goal is not good enough and being beaten by Northern Ireland is definitely a very poor show and serious thought should be given to the performances of some of the overpaid prima-donnas - perhaps including the manager in that as well.

Well, that's all for now, I'm off to watch TV, it seems as if the autumn schedules are dishing up some very watchable programs, Spooks, Waking the Dead and the ever present Eastenders. With the return of Jonathon Ross to our screens, all it requires is for Top Gear to return and my compliment of "English Twit" :-) shows will be almost complete. A man with a tiny brain is so easily entertained and pleased.

Tara for now.

That was the week that was

2005-08-12T14:38:00.000+01:00

Well, here we are, it's Friday and everything is quiet so I thought I'd add a few words during lunch.

I've had the pleasure of spending 2 days in our county town of Trowbridge this week. It's quite an interesting place to go, it's history dates back to well before the 12th century. In more recent times, it was a mill town, and quite a wealthy one if the sizes of some of the properties is anything to go by. However, the town centre is slightly blighted by the nearby sausage factory belonging to Pork Farms Bowyers. The locals have complained for years about the smell of cooking coming out of the factory chimneys and although the company have gone to great lengths to minimise the smell, on a warm day with the wind in the right direction it's nearly enough to put you off your BBQ.

Why was I in Trowbridge - well, I had a couple of client meetings to discuss their requirements for a web presence. Lucky old me!

As for the rest of the week - NASA finally managed to get it's latest mission to Mars off the launch pad. After a couple of cancellations, the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter was finally on its way, ETA March 2006. Perhaps it will help explain what happened to our ill-fated Beagle 2 mission in 2003.

In another good news story for space, the European heavy lift rocket, Ariane 5 successfully launched the heaviest ever communications satellite in to earth orbit. This 6.5 tonne beastie is destined to assist global corporate communications. Dunno why they need it - can't the bosses just shout a little louder?

Of course, it could not be all good - NASA have decided to ground the shuttle whilst they try to solve this issue of the main fuel tank shedding foam. The next launch (Atlantis) was scheduled for September but NASA now say that nothing will happen until November at the earliest - of well.

My heart goes out to those poor people at Heathrow airport. A wildcat strike by a catering company has brought the airport to its knees. Illegal secondary action by other Heathrow staff have meant that British Airways has had to cancel all of its flights and many other airlines are suffering knock on effects. I actually feel sorry for the passengers and BA, the actual action is through no fault of theirs and yet they have to suffer the brunt of militant union action. Hmmmm...one can almost hear the cry "Bring back Maggie Thatcher - this wouldn't have happened in her days".

And last, but by no means least, the England cricket team manage a great score against Australia (currently the world's best cricket team). Let's hope the bowlers can build on an impressive start by our batsmen and make this another memorable victory, taking the series score to 2-1 in our favour.

Well, that's it for now, I need to go and get some more work done, hope you all have a great weekend.

Cheerio

The Shuttle has landed

2005-08-09T16:55:00.000+01:00

So, the space shuttle has safely returned to mother earth - after a delay of a day. NASA say it had to come down today otherwise the crew would have run out of food -and more importantly, their air purifiers would have run down their essential supplies leading to a build up of carbon dioxide.

So, a heartfelt "welcome home" to the crew of the shuttle and a hearty congratulations to NASA for returning to space. Of course, the big question will be - when is the next launch? NASA will tell you that they need to resolve the issue of chunks of foam arbitrarily detaching themselves from the external fuel tank. Well, I have a solution - why not just make a gigantic condom and roll it down over the external tank prior to launch. Of course, the thin rubber ones that are available over the counter wouldn't be up to the job - no matter how stretch and extra-large they are but surely something could be fashioned out of carbon fibre?

Anyway, that's enough for today - there have been more posts to this blog over the past week than over it's whole earlier life - my little fingers are plain tuckered out from all this typing.

See ya later peeps.

August weekend

2005-08-08T02:19:00.000+01:00

Well, that's the end of the weekend, and what a busy weekend it proved to be, exploration and picnics with the children.

On Saturday we went to the nearby Savernake Forest, home to 1,000 year old oak trees. The Big Belly Oak is probably the oldest and it's rumoured that if one were to dance naked 12 times around the tree that the Devil himself would be summoned. Sadly, were I to dance naked anywhere I think the area would be vacated immediately, the Devil would hide his head in shame and I'd probably be carted off to the local loony bin (insane asylum)

After picnic food, snacks, dessert and an all essential cup of coffee we set off to explore a tiny portion of this ancient woodland. Sadly, the wildlife appeared to be hiding - although I did see a deer from the car when we were leaving. However, despite this lack of wildlife, everyone enjoyed themselves and the girls and I had a great game of hide and seek amongst the trees.

Sunday took us further afield. First we visited Stonehenge, the ancient stone circle that has its origins deep in the past, 3,000 yrs BC. Of course, we don't know really what it's purpose was but it is truly a magnificent and stunning piece of work, and testimony to the ingenuity of the people who moved stones (some weighing over 40 tons) hundreds of miles and then erected them in to the design we know today.

From there we drove to the lesser know Woodhenge. This dates back to 2300 BC. However, because it was comprised of wood, much less is known about the design or it's purpose and consequently, like Stonehenge, it remains shrouded in history. Because it's a lot less popular than Stonehenge - less to see so less attractive, we chose this as our location for our second picnic of the weekend. Again, standard picnic fayre of sandwiches and salad.

Moving on from Woodhenge, we went on a crop circle hunt. Wiltshire is home to a wide range of crop circles annually and Alison had heard of a particularly complex circle near Alton Barnes. This was actually a star shape with Aztec type marking on the inside. After a climb up a steep hill, we found a location which overlooked this complex design.

On the way home we passed through another ancient site, the stone circles of Avebury. En route to Avebury, we passed yet another design cut in to a cornfield. This was a more swirly pattern, but none the less interesting for that.

Avebury is the largest stone circle in Europe and pre-dates even Stonehenge. Even less is known of its purpose, but - like Stonehenge - it is believed to have some religious purpose.

After that, we took a leisurely drive home, in wonder and awe at the ancient history that lies on our doorstep. We often are so eager to explore exciting towns and cities that we are apt to overlook the history on our doorstep. The danger is that we see it every day (metaphorically speaking) and tend to take it for granted. With ancient sites like Stonehenge and Avebury comfortably less than 45 minutes from home, it is dangerous to make such assumptions. To do so would be to remain in ignorance of some of the most significant artifacts of ancient Britain.

Summer 2005

2005-08-01T11:34:00.000+01:00

Welcome to what is one of an infrequent range of updates.

In my last post, I expressed uncertainty over my job - well - happily for me I was able to keep my position, sadly for one of my collegues, they had to accept redundancy.

More bad neww was that my lovely little Honda Coupe expired. Head gasket failure and other associated issues meant that it was too expensive to repair. If the time had been available, it's something I could have undertaken myself but, ole father time just was not kind enough so i had to "splash out" on a bit of a runabout. Never mind, this red Mondeo goes well enough, has more space for the family and is kinder on my back. Not such a sporty little number tho...oh well.

In the news we saw England awarded the 2012 olympics...hoooray...but we saw the increase in terrorism hit the streets of London. Having lived through the attrocities commited in the name of a free Ireland, this is something I despair of.

It was brought home to me very recently because we took our eldest daughter to the railway station in town - she was returning to Wales. At the station, we saw fully armed police (not just hand guns but fully automatic weapons) patrolling the platforms. It was both reassuring but also a little chilling in that it really brought the realism of the terroist threats from London down to our front door.

So, we live in fearful times, we have to place our trust with those in authority in the hope that they are able to keep us safe!

Be good, be careful, be safe.
Andy - signing off for now.

New Year New Worries

2005-02-03T08:32:00.000Z

Well, welcome to the first blog of 2005. Yes yes I know, I've not been the best of people at keeping this up to date but I have been busy you know.

First there was Christmas to plan for and get through. The bad news was that one by one we all succumbed to a nasty flu virus that was doing the rounds back then - the real bad news is that most of us are just getting over going down with it a second time around. Fever, nausea, aches and all of the rest of the ailments. Takes anything between 10-14 days to work through.....not nice.

And in the midst of all this I discover that my job is at risk and I could be redundant. I work for Business Link, www.blbw.co.uk as an IT Consultant - there are 3 of us but due to the vagaries associated with our funding there may only be enough money to pay for 2, so it's uncertain times for us all.

However, my personal site seems to be running well, www.andypoulton.com, www.virus-safe.info (for all the information you're likely to need in relation to the risks to your PC from viruses, spyware and hacking) and www.web-legals.info (which is all about the legal issues facing UK companies wishing to establish a presence on the internet.

Well, that's enough for now - I'll hopefully write more soon.

Be good, be careful

Poulton - OUT

The end of Summer

2004-10-22T15:02:00.000+01:00

Well, here we are, nearly at the end of October and nearly my birthday and quite a few things have changed.

August 23rd saw me get married to a wonderful lady, Alison and so I am now a happily married man.

Other than that, the English weather is now decidely autumnal with strong winds and frequent showers although we had a lovely weekend recently down on the south coast.

The international side of sport has calmed down somewhat now that the olympics have passed and we are now firmly into the domestic football season although neither of my clubs have gotten off to strong start.....ah well...I'm sure things will improve as the season progresses.

Better entertainment comes from the shenanigins across the pond - and that'll be the election bullhype gnerated by the kerry Bush battle. Oh dear oh dear.....what a media circus it is. I just hope that the right man wins, not that I have any influence on the outcome of course.

Ah well, i guess I had better get back to work, www.blbw.co.uk for more information, I'm an e-Business adviser offering computer and internet advice to small businesses.

Andy - OUT!

More England woe

2004-07-02T08:03:00.000+01:00

Gee, how could I have expected more. England out of the footie and Henman getting unceremoniously dumped out of Wimbledon at the quarter final stage by some unseeded player. Oh, and we ain't knocking the ball around so hotly in the Cricket either, ah well - at least there's the Olympics to look forwards to and we're bound to win a whole boat load of gold medals, right?

So, what else -well it's not been a bad week personally. Had a piece published in the prestigious national newspaper, the Sunday Times as well as a couple of pieces published in some of the local newspapers. Was asked to be a national IT spokesperson for the Department of Trade and industry (that's part of the UK Government) and had some pretty good meetings, resulting in a glowing testimonial letter (and it's not often that that happens)

So, what now -well the weekend is nearly upon us and we need to find something to occupy ourselves. The mundane things need attending to, such as the lawn, the garden, the fishpond, the car, the shopping - oh heck I can feel my self giving up the will to live already so I think I'll scoot off to the office now.

Poulton - OUT!

June is the month the weirdness starts

2004-06-26T13:10:00.000+01:00

Well, here we are at the end of June, England have tumbled out of Euro 2004 as a result of being cr*p against Portugal. Many will blame the referee, quite a few could blame the penalty spot, a few may even criticize the penalty takers, but if the truth be known (or just recognised) we did not play well enough. We scored an early goal, became complacent and defended too much. Steven Gerrard was not his normal self, (fatigued?) and Wayne Rooney had to leave the pitch after breaking a bone in his foot. Perhaps that was the turning point, the loss of our star player and talisman but it still does not excuse the woeful performance of the team as a hole.

Now, all the countries hopes are pinned on tiger Tim Henman at Wimbledon, although he hasn't made a brilliant start to this years tournament, and of course, being Wimbledon fortnight has brought in wind and rain to replace the previous weeks of hot sunshine...oh well.

After Wimbledon and Tim's inevitable demise we shall turn our hopes on Athens, Greece and the 2004 Olympic Games, another spectacle for us to enjoy.

Of course, being June another UK traditional even has kicked off, the Glastonbury music festival, another event that seem bound to attract bad weather.

Earlier this week we saw the summer solstice with thousands of watchers staying up for the whole night to watch the sun rise over the stones of Stonehenge. Personally, I think the site of the sun rising is pretty impressive but I'm not sure I'd want to be a stone hugger and spend the night with weird Druids and wiffy hippies.

Of course, where would the summer be without crop circles. Wiltshire seems to be a world focus for the creation of these interesting designs. I don't know what causes the odd 5% that are non-human in origin but they sure do make for entertaining viewing and reading in the local media. What really arouses my curiosity is the fact that a lot of the really intricate (man made) ones are in locations that mean they cannot be easily viewed and only get discovered if "stumbled upon" by a walker or someone in their micro-light.

Ah well, none so strange as man I guess, be good, be happy

Andy...OUT!

Saturday June 12

2004-06-12T18:01:00.001+01:00

Well, the summer of sport has begun. Euro 2004 is underway with Portugal playing Greece and England play France tomorrow, Sunday.
Tennis at the Queens club in Brighton is well underway although all the British players are out already and England are facing a tough job against New Zealand in the third cricket test.

So, with Wimbledon due to start, the soccer well underway, cricket drawing to a close and the Olympics just over the horizon it is looking to be a spectacular summer.

As for the family, well today I did some basic carpentry in the garage and made a wooden "cage" for the trash bags. This means that all the bags can be kept tidily until the trash man cometh and soon we are off to the mighty Asda to carry out the weekly shop for food.

I guess that's about it for now. There'll probably be more tomorrow because we are off to Ringstead Bay, for a day by the seaside so for nor

Poulton.....OUT